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((Fade in on the blue HWC "lightning" logo, which then fades briefly to the purple Biohazard symbol, then fades in on the arena. As the opening techno starts, the arena goes pitch black..then when the bomb soundings occur, several small pyro's shoot diagonal, then when Till Lindemann's vocals start, a small video package of explosive shots from wrestlers is shown, then when he screams FEUER FREI, a brutal shot of Jag being chokeslammed through the hood is shown, then the cams pan over the crowd as the song plays. the tron shows various video packages of the wrestlers as pyro explodes on the stage and on the ring ramps in time to the beat. The stage set is a definite battlefield theme, with barbed wire, sandbags and even a machine gun nest and an oveturned jeep which both "explode" when the pyro goes off.. Then the shot switches to David Tanjic and Travis Best at the announce position.))
David Tanjic: Welcome to the Dunkin Donuts center in Providence, Rhode Island for HWC Wedensday Night Warzone!!! I'm David Tanjic and with me, the ever-idiotic Travis Best!
Travis Best: Oh screw off Tantrum boy. They only put me here because Eddie wouldn't work with you.
(Tanjic rolls his eyes then speaks)
Tanjic: Tonight we have a packed card, ladies and gentleman at home! We have a three way dance!
(The camera cuts to a tri-sected shot of Tiger, Jericho and Hans. Tiger looks at the camera and roars, while Jericho looks cocky and confident, ever the suave one. Hans, however has a funky ass look in his eyes. He is wearing the Kaptain Krazy cape and has a crazed look. He makes the Crossed Hammers symbol. Then the screen freezes and the words THREE WAY DANCE flashes beneath them in purple and black.)
Tanjic: We also have Sickness member and one half of the tag team champions Chaotica facing Terry Riffic in a Hardcore match!
(The camera cuts to a bi-sected shot of Chaotica glaring menacingly at the camera in her ring costume with the tag team belt around her waist. Terry has a cocky smartassed look. He holds his book in his hands, then the camera freezes. Then the words HARDCORE MATCH flashes beneath in purple and black.)
Tanjic: And let's not forget our main event! Faygo Joe vs. The Spoon in a Tables Match!
(The camera cuts to a bi sected shot of Spoon and Faygo Joe. Spoon has a casual look on his face, wearing a raver's outfit, while Faygo is holding a skull, leering at it seductively. The camera freezes and the words TABLES MATCH flashes across in purple and black as well.)
Tanjic: It's one hell of a night here on Warzone! What do you think Best?
Best: That's a loaded question, schoolboy. Let's get this party started, shall we? I have a hooker waiting.
Hardcore Match
Chaotica VS. Terry Riffic
Jean Fortello: The following is a hardcore match. The first to the ring weighing in at 170 lbs, from Vancouver British Columbia, Canada... CHAOTICA!
Travis: Ooo Chaotica is looking very good today.
David: There's more to her then just looks, she is a very skilled wrestler.
Travis: Yea but who cares about that.
David: The fans.
Travis: Fans! (scoffs) What do they know.
((Broken by 12 Stones plays and Chaotica appears at the top of the ramp, gazing out at the crowd for a moment she smiles as she starts to walk down the ramp, occasionally slapping hands with some of the fans along the way. Upon reaching ring side, Chaotica throws up the ring aporn and starts grabing anything she can get her hands on. She throws into the ring a lead pipe, a stop sign, a 2x4, and fire exstinguser. Finally climbing into the ring she grabs the 2x4 and waits. Her music fades as I Will Be Heard by Hatebreed plays.))
Jean Fortello: And her opponent weighing in at 255 lbs, from Long Island, New York.... Terry Riffic!
((Terry steps behind the curtain and instead of carrying his normal book with him he has a steel chair. He raises it in the air and is greeted with boos. Lowering it he makes his way onto the ring. Reaching for the ropes to climb in Chaotica takes a sing at him, Terry backs away and nearly trips.))
David: Chaotica isn't going to give Terry the chance to enter with out losing his head.
((Terry walks around the ring and stops on the other side. Chaotica watches him read to take another swing. Terry sets down his chair and grabs the rings steps. Once pulling them away from the ring he throws them inot the ring and at Chaotica. Chaotica moves quickly out of the way. Grabbing his chair Terry slides into the ring. Chaotica sees him and takes a baseball swing at him. Terry uses the chair as a shield and gets backed into a corner by Chaotica.))
David: Chaotica is giving Terry no chance to fight back.
((Chaotica drop kicks the chair causing Terry's head to bounce off the turn buckle and smack into the chair. Terry groans and shakes it off. Terry tries to rush Chaotica with the chair infront of him, but Chaotica just side steps him and trips him. Terry falls and again smacking his head against the chair. Chaotica stands over him ready to being the 2x4 down on Terry's head, acting fast he grabs the fire exstinguser and sprays it into her face. Chaotica drops the weapon and staggers away wiping her eyes trying to see. Terry gets to his feet and grabs the chair. Running to her Terry gives her a shot to the back followed by another to the forehead. Chaotica crumples to the mat. Still holding the chair Terry looks down at Chaotica talking trash.))
Travis: What the hell is Terry doing?!
David: Looks like he's just talking to her. Why doesn't he just finish her off.
Travis: Not that, he hit her in the face. I hope her looks aren't damaged. Last thing I want is a girl who look like she got hit by a truck.
((Chaotica slowly starts to ge to her feet holding her head as Terry yells to her to get up. Chaotica grabs the top rope trying to get to her feet. Terry raises the chair to slam it into the top of her head when Chaotica lets go of the rope and falls back. Too late for Terry, he hits the rope where her head once was, the chair bounces off the ropes and hits him in the head again. He drops the chair and staggers back, Chaotica gets back up and grabs Terry. She delivers a DDT driving Terry's face into the chair. Terry gets busted open. Chaotica goes for the count. 1...2 Terry gets a shoulder up.))
David: Terry don't know when to quit. Looks like Chaotica won't get an easy win as she thought.
Travis: STAY DOWN!!! YOU'RE UGLY ENOUGH AS IS!!! NO ONE WANTS YOU!
David: Travis!
Travis: What?
((Chaotica pulls him to his feet as blood pours down his face. Chaotica grabs the chair and takes a swing at Terry. Terry surprises her with a big boot kicking the chair right into the face of Chaotica. Chaotica drops to the mat holding her head in pain. Terry turns and grabs the ring steps.))
Travis: NO DON'T DO IT!
((Terry raises it above his head and then slams it into the body of Chaotica. In a fit of rage he beats the ring steps into Chaotica more till Chaotica stops moving. The crowd bursts into shouts, but at first Terry fails to see why. Amy comes through the crowd and is now climbing the turnbuckle. Just as Terry notices Amy there, Amy leaps off and hits Terry with a missle dropkick to the face. Amy goes over and helps Chaotica up, when Perry races to the ring to even the odd. Entering the ring Perry grabs the lead pipe and hits Amy in the back with it. Amy crumbles to her knees wincing in pain, Perry raises it to hit her in the head. But before he can Amy gives him a low blow. Perry drops the pipe and holds him self. Amy gets up and grabs Perry delivering a jaw jacker. Amy kicks him in the rips and yells at him. Terry, now up grabs Amy from behind and lifts her over his head.))
David: Amy's in trouble now.
Travis: No Terry, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!
((Terry takes Amy and throws her out of the ring. Terry turns his attention back to Chaotica whos back to her feet by aid of the ropes. Terry grabs the stop sign and raises it above his head. But before he can use it he seens the rest of The Sickness running to the rung. Terry turns ready to defend himself. Hunter is the first to slide it but gets with the sign by Terry. That leaves Terry open as Rancid tackles him down, knocking the sign out of his hands. On the out side Ramus and Charity are setting up a table. Amy climbs back into the ring and grabs the chair, Terry kicks Rancid off him. Before he can get to his feet Amy hits him with the chair, Terry crumbles beneath it. After making sure Perry stays down with use of the chair by Amy, Rancid rolls Terry out of the ring.))
David: Where are they taking Terry?
Travis: Out!
David: Out where?
Travis: La la land.
((Chaotica sees what Rancid is doing and heads over to climb the turn buckle. Out side the ring after a brief beating from everyone Rancid lays Terry out on the table. Chaotica stands upon and leaps off hitting a swanton off the top rope and landing on Terry out side the ring. They both crash through the table hard as Chaotica covers him. 1...2...3. The bell rings and the ref goes to help Chaotica up.))
Jean Fortello: Your winner... CHAOTICA!!
Travis: YES DID IT!!
David: But not without help from The Sickness. Let's cut to a commercial!
((Commercial shows a preview for the upcoming Anthony Hopkins movie, Red Dragon. 5 stars, says Roger Ebert! Go see it!))
3-Way Dance
Jericho Dylan vs The Tiger vs Hans Kuhmann
Jean Fortello: Weighing 225 pounds and standing 6'2, He is the Soulveyer, Jericho Dylan!
('The God That Failed' by Metallica rips through the PA. The lights flicker, then go out. When they come back on, they have a sickly green glow. Standing at the entrance to the arena, he's an intimidating figure in black and silver. A black cloak is thrown over his head, shrouding his long blonde hair and brown eyes. Fireworks go off, making the crowd jump as he makes his way to the ring. Jericho climbs into the ring and walks to the center of the ring)
Jean Fortello: Weighing in at 175 pounds and standing 5'7, she is a former HWC World Champion...The Tiger!
(Better Than You by Metallica booms over the PA as Tiger steps out. white and green lights flash to the beat. She steps out onto the stage and shows her left side at first flexing her left arm showing her muscles and her tribal tattoo that goes from her shoulder to her wrist. She then makes her way down the ramp and to the ring. Reaching the ring she climbs up the turn buckle on the outside and throws both fist up in the air elbows bent a bit. The crowd pops for both wrestlers so far, roaring loudly.)
Jean Fortello: And weighing in at 218 pounds and standing 5'11, He is one half of Die Zerstrorer, Hans Kuhmann!
("Walk Among Us" hits on the PA, with blue and white lights flashing all around the arena. after about 15 seconds, Hans steps out, paces back and forth across the stage a couple of times, his hands on his hips, then power walks to the ring, climbs to the ring apron, then vaults to the top turnbuckle and flashes the "Crossed Hammers" sign. The crowd boos loudly for the newest member of the Black List. Hans screams out Amy's name into the air followed by a voracious roar. He then drops down and faces his opponents.)
Tanjic: Let's get this underway folks!
(The bell rings and this match is underway. The three combatants circle each other. Jericho makes a couple false lunches at Tiger and Hans, before he locks arms with Tiger. Jericho and Tiger rush at Hans in a attempted to double clothesline, but Hans dodges. Hans takes one bounce off the far ropes and comes running at them. He executes a dropkick to the both of them, one foot on each of their chests. They both hit the mat holding their chests for a moment. Hans rolls to his feet and starts kicking the both of them in alternating rhythms. After about 3 or so kicks, Hans leans down and picks Tiger up. he spits something foul in German at her then punches her in the gut, then throws her over the top rope, sending her crunching to the mat below. When Hans turns, the crowd pops as Hans faces a standing, fuming Jericho. Jericho kicks Hans in the gut with a big boot then grabs Hans like he is going to chokeslam him..then picks him up...Jericho nails a HUGE powerslam!)
Tanjic: Jericho, just exerting his power! He powerslammed Hans like it was nothing!
Best: Will you quit going crazy over a simple move? Christ you're worse than Tony Schiavone!
Tanjic: You can actually pronounce a word? Holy shit...the moron's IQ rose!
(Jericho poses for the fans to a moderate pop as Tiger slides back in. Jericho turns to face her, and he smiles. Together they begin to lay the boots to Hans. Tiger then lifts Hans up in a full nelson. Jericho steps back then goes for a superkick, but Hans shifts his weight, dropping down! Tiger takes the superkick square on the chin and she falls. Jericho throws his hands up in frustration. Hans rolls to his feet and quickly dropkicks the backs of Jericho's knees. Jericho falls to his knees, and Hans stands quickly. He kicks Jericho in the head, then screams something in German. Tiger, in the meantime has gotten to her feet. She runs over and clotheslines Hans, flattening him. She then gets into Jericho's face. They start to to argue and a shoving match ensues. Jericho pushes Tiger down, and Tiger responds with a stinging slap! Jericho's head reels and he kicks Tiger in the gut, then clotheslines her to the mat! Jericho begins to lay the boots on her, kicking her in the head and gut before picking her up..gutwrench suplex! Tiger lays there stunned as hell. Hans stands up in the meantime and gets onto the top rope behind Jericho. Jericho turns around...HURRICANRANA!!! Jericho goes tumbling from the ring. Hans immediately runs over and pins Tiger, taking advantage of her downed state..1...2...Tiger kicks out. Hans starts laying the boots to her as hard as he can, trying to keep her down.)
Tanjic: Impressive match we have here. The action is so fast paced I can't call it!
Best: Oh you just have no clue what to say, jack off.
(After laying the boots to Tiger for a few more seconds, Hans picks her up by the hair. He whips her into the ropes, but Tiger reverses it..Hans ducks under a clothesline attempt..Head scissors takedown to Tiger! Tiger is down and Hans gets up on the top rope....He signals..LUFTWAFFE SPLASH!!!..1...2..Jericho just gets in and kicks Hans in the back of the head. Jericho picks Hans up and powerbombs him over the prone form of Tiger! Hans squeaks and lays there, hurting. Jericho goes for the arrogant cover, a foot on the both...1.....2 ...Tiger kicks out barely, moving Hans off her. Tiger growls and starts to beat on Hans. Jericho starts in, beating the fuck out of Hans as well. Hans has no chance to fight back. Between Tiger's punches and Jericho's kicks, Hans is defenseless. Suddenly from the back runs Amy Jensen! Amy slides into the ring carrying a chair! She takes a swing that would make Mark McGwire happy, She clocks Tiger on the back of her head! Tiger falls to the ground, and Jericho turns. Amy meets him too with a chairshot to the face. He falls like a sack of potatoes. Suddenly about 4 ref's come running from the back, intent on restraining Amy. She quickly kneels down and kisses Hans softly while he is dazed then is yanked from the ring kicking and screaming. She is held on the outside. Jericho is prone on the mat. Tiger stirs, and drags herself back in the ring. She picks a prone Hans out and positions him...Jericho stirs...Tiger hooks him, but Hans quickly slips down...SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP!!!! 1....2....3 HANS WINS!!!! 'Walk Among Us' blares on the PA as Amy breaks past the refs and yanks Hans out before a infuriated Tiger and a royally pissed Jericho can get him. She practically supports him on her shoulder as they start to walk backwards towards the ramp. Amy kisses Hans in congratulations and they both get backstage. Jericho and Tiger argue angrily in the ring about the miscalculation. Suddenly Jericho kicks Tiger in the gut and nails a HUGE CHOKESLAM!)
Tanjic: HANS KUHMANN WITH THE UPSET WIN OVER TIGER!
Best: Fuck that...he got Amy! What a bastard...hey hold on...what's Jericho doing, yo?
(Tiger lays on the mat completely dazed. Jericho climbs to the top...SIN CITY! Tiger is dazed like hell! But Jericho isnt done! He picks her up as he climbs the top rope and nails a perfect Superplex! He then hops up on the turnbuckle...BACKWATER BAYOU! Jericho rolls to his feet and stands. As the camera goes to commercial, Jericho is seen talking major trash to a prone Tiger)
((Cut to a commercial for HWC HardWear. Be the first to own HWC: Aggression! THis feature length CD contains themes for the top name superstars of the HWC! Be the first to blast the Black List's theme as you walk down the halls of your school! only 15.99 S/H required! Call 1-800 HardWear today!))
(The camera cuts back on David Tanjic and Travis Best. The crowd behind them is going apeshit at the chance to get on air)
Tanjic: And now it's time for our Main Event! A Tables Match between Spoon and Faygo Joe!
Best: Wake me when it's over....zzzzzz
("Double X Minus" by Five Pointe O hits the PA, and Faygo comes strolling out with his wheelbarrow-Bridget. The hideous person gives his beloved a kiss and slides into the ring. He runs around jackassedly for a few seconds, as if bewildered by something, but then
DING*DING*DING
(For but a second, the two men stand face to face, Spoon looking pissed off, and Faygo Joe with a sickly grin on his face. Then, without warning, Faygo throws a quick punch to Spoons face. He stumble's back, right over the top rope, and through the table!)
DING*DING*DING
(Faygo Joe simply stands there with a look of utter confusion on his face, but that look quickly becomes the familiar grin as he grabs a bottle of Faygo and celebrates his akward victory by running in circles. Medics come out to stretcher Spoon away, but he is smiling with pride for some reason at his loss.)
Best: Uhh...That was rather anti-climactic...
Tanjic: Can it porch-monkey. Stay here and entertain the fans. I'm going to go get some answers about this.
(Tanjic bolts from the announce booth, leaving a bewildered Best. A camera picks up backstage. David Tanjic is seen running to interview Spoon, who is being loaded into an ambulance.)
Tanjic: Spoon! Spoon! (He shoves the microphone into Spoon’s face) Why are you so happy about losing? You were just defeated with one punch!
Spoon(laboring as he speaks): Oh David, I wasn’t made for these hardcore matches. Faygo Joe is a KILLER!!! ONE PUNCH! That’s all it took! And now I can no longer participate in such hard matches with weapons and tables and...
(Spoon passes out, but has a smile on his face which we see very briefly as he is loaded onto the ambulance.)