Wednesday Night WarZone
11-06-03
Knoxville, Tennessee at the sold out Thompson/Boling Assembly Arena

((The screen engulfs in fire burning quickly and leaving behind the burn remains of the blue HWC logo followed by the word "Brutality being spray painted over it. The image fades as the voice of Popa Roach is heard saying, "Cut my life into peices. This is my last resort!" Popa Roach is seen playing in the WarZone ring surrounded by large monitors showing different clips of each HWC Wrestler. The camera pans around as one shows Tiger diving off the ladder after B.D. Another shows Zac K. stands over the broken bodies of Bull and Nothing holding a decimated metal crutch. The camera spins back to the ring showing Popa Roach jumping around the ring before the camera roating around now showing Celtic Hyena with his back to the crowd standing at the top of the ramp way, as he puts his right hand in the air. It is followed by the clip of Maximus sets fire to Creepers body. Blackness engulfs everything as the music plays on. Each one of the HWC's wrestlers comes into view surrounded by shadows starting with Jericho and ending with Lucien. The mouth the whispering words, "I.... can't.... go..... on..... living.... thing.... way." But it is Popa Roach's voice heard and not the wrestlers. As the song comes to an end clips of A monk beating Creeper and Jericho with a baseball bat before revealing it to be Sephiroth. And ening with Blood Dragon powerbombing Panthro threw a chair between two plate glass windows.))

David: Welcome, everyone, to HWC WarZone! We are LIVE in Knoxville, Tennessee at the sold out Thompson/Boling Assembly Arena! I'm David Tanjic, and with me as always is...

Travis: Travis Best! Talk about a night to remember... I'm actually looking forward to it!

David: How much was it this time?

Travis: None of your business!

David: Figures...

((The camera pans the backstage area, catching Cherisse Novak coming out of her office. She looks around and smiles when she sees who she's looking for.))

Cherisse: I was hoping I'd see you here!

((The camera pans backward to reveal who she's talking to. The fans erupt when they see them.))

Travis: YES!

David: It's Sarafan!

Sarafan: I'm glad I caught you. I need to talk to you...

Cherisse: What is it?

Sarafan: I need to request a four week leave of absence. It is a... personal matter.

Cherisse: Is something wrong with your family?

Sarafan: Actually, no. It's just that... This is so hard!

Cherisse: Relax and take it easy. Then take your time.

Sarafan: Thank you. Johnny and I are getting married next Wednesday...

Cherisse: Say no more. Your request is granted.

Sarafan: Thank you, Miss Novak. Have I your leave to depart so I may prepare?

Cherisse: Of course. But... Where are you having the wedding?

Sarafan: A place someone dear to me suggested a while ago... Central Park in New York.

((The fans erupt in a tumult of cheers, loving Central Park. They're also cheering Sarafan getting married. She's a lovely girl... She deserves to be happy. Cherisse smiles and hugs her, then Sarafan walks away to go tell Johnny the good news. The last thing the camera sees is Cherisse getting a sheet of paper and looking down at it. What she sees makes her smile in a way that makes the fans cheer...))

Travis: I wonder what was on that paper...

David: First up, a Jobber match. Although, technically, Ryan Maverick isn’t a jobber anymore.

Travis: Shut up, Tanjic. Every time you open your mouth, you show the world how much of a moron you are.

((The bell rings, the Jobbers, relegated to having to come to the ring without a flashy announcement, or ring entrance, already in the ring. Both men lock up, Ryan getting the upper hand, literally, right hooking the Lurker in the jaw. Lurker responds by charging Ryan, picking him up, and driving him, back first, into the turnbuckle, then stepping back, rearing back far, and catching Ryan with a right cross, spinning slightly, turning his back to Ryan, then pointing up to the rafters, snapping his right foot back, catching Ryan in the groin, before snapmaring Ryan out of the corner, and rebounding off of the ropes. As Ryan gets to a knee, Lurker atches him with his finisher, the chokeslam he calls “Control Alt Delete”. Ryan lays on the mat unmoving. From seemingly nowhere, but everywhere, a hissing sound is heard, getting gradually louder, then, after a moment, the lights flip off, a loud popping is heard, the lights returning to full instantly, revealing a massive person standing in the ring, shrouded entirely in a black cloak, with the hood up.))

David: Who the hell is that?!

Travis: Nobody I know. Guy’s too big to be Creeper, or Sothren.

((The figure’s arm raises, pointing at the Lurker, who, somehow, is out cold on the mat, showing the world that it’s not a creature in a cloak, but more a figure made of darkness, the simple presence of the creature/person sending chills down every person in attendance’s spine. A voice echoes through the arena, devoid of emotion, and disturbingly, chillingly cold.))

Voice: All sinners must pay. Blood cost or body count, all pay the price. You will all atone for your sins.

((Again, the hissing sound is heard, getting louder, then, once more, with a pop, and an explosion of a light bulb, the figure is gone, leaving Ryan sitting in the ring, bewildered and confused, as is the referee. As no one saw the odd figure attack, the match continues. Ryan reaches over, pinning Lurker. 1. . . .2 . . .3!!!))

David: After this. . . odd match, Ryan Mavrick has gained a victory.

Travis: Yeah, but what’s with Lurker?

((Lurker finally rolls out of the ring, his body unmoving, appearing to be more or less moving on impulse, then, suddenly, Lurker shudders, opens his mouth, and coughs up a torrent of blood, dropping facedown to the rampway. Medical personnel rush to ringside, lifting Lurker, and carrying him backstage on a gurney.))

David: What did that freaky creature do to Lurker?!

Travis: Maybe he was union.

David: Did you forget to take your medicine today?

Travis: Nope!

((WarZone begins to go to commercial, then stops, abruptly, as David’s voice fills the silence.))

David: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I understand that Lurker has, apparently, suffered a number of serious internal injuries. From what I’m hearing, it appears that Lurker was the recipient of a series of attacks with enough power to nearly blow Lurker’s ribcage out of his back. But. . . how is that possible?! The lights were only off for, maybe, a millisecond! I. . . I’m speechless!

Travis: I’m not. Go to commercial!

(Two men are standing in a locker room.)

First man: Are you sure we should be doing this?

Second man: Of course. What could possibly go wrong?

First man: I don't know. This isn't what I had in mind.

(The door opens and Autumn Lewis sticks her head in.)

Autumn: You boys ready?

(They nod.)

Autumn: Come and get em girls!

(She throws the door open and Tiger and Harley charge into the room grabbing the men and are seen applying various painful wrestling holds on them. The men grunt and groan and Autumn and Martin Smalls are standing in the doorway laughing and drinking Mountain Dew Code Reds.)

Announcer: No cheap dates. Mountain Dew Code Red. Live by the code.

(Cut to a shot of Tiger with the Crossface on one of the men and him tapping out on the floor.)

Announcer: Now for a limited time, on specially marked bottles of Mountain Dew Code Red, you could instantly win tickets to a free HWC event and meet your favorite wrester. Check the cap to see if you're an instant winner, or win hundreds of other prizes including HWC merchandise.)

((The lights go down, going completely black, as a pink and purple spotlights search over the crowd. "Why Not" by Hilary Duff begins to play over the speakers, and on the screen it plays anime scenes. The spotlights come to a stop at the back of the stage, where two shadowy figures stand. The spotlights go onto them revealing Mia and a young looking guy with her. She's dressed in a white kimono, with her hair pulled back in a bun. They make their way to the ring, and the young man helps her inside. Blue and gold sparkles fire out from each of the ring posts as Mia smiles.The crowd cheers loudly for them as Mia just smiles looking around the arena, and a mic gets tossed to her.))

David: The Otaku Angel is back!

Travis: My god! She's come back to me!

David: I don't think she came back, just because of you...

Mia: Hello Knoxville, Tennessee! The Otkau Angel has come home!

((The crowd errupts into cheers once more, as she wraps her arm around Tenchi's waist, kissing his cheek.))

David: The crowd is sure happy to see her.

Travis: So am I!

Mia: But I haven't come back alone! I have with me the 10th wonder of the world! I bring to you, from my homeland of Japan, Tenshi Takashi!

((The crowd bursts into cheers, as Tenchi waves to the crowd, and hops up onto one of the ring posts.))

Mia: Tonight he will be going up against Zac K, for his first match! Do you think he can do it?

((The crowd cheers loudly, as Mia smiles to herself.))

David: Their really behind Mia and Tenchi aren't they Travis?

Travis: Yeah...You know I wouldn't mind being behind...

David: Don't even say it!

Mia: That's right! Tonight Zac K is going to learn why Dr. Otaku is to be feared! As well as the Otaku Angel! Hope you're ready Zac K, because soon you'll get your medicine!

(("Why Not" begins to play once more as they make their way out of the ring, and head back down the ramp towards the back.))

David: Well, it looks like Mia's the one that brought Dr. Otaku over here.

Travis: Why did she do this to me?

David: Do what?

Travis: Find some other guy!

David: Ok...We'll be back after this.

(Blood Dragon is sitting at a Wendy's with Zoe. He's eating one of the new Wendy's salads.)

Zoe: What'cha got?

Blood: A Wendy's salad.

Man at next table (laughing): The big bad wrestler is eating a salad? (Laughs harder.) What a wimp! Only wimps eat salad!

(Suddenly we see the man flying across the Wendy's screaming, followed by a thud as he lands on the floor. Cut back to Zoe brushing her hands off.)

Zoe: No one calls my husband a wimp except me!

Blood: Thanks hon...HEY!

Announcer: Now Wendy's has great salads with under 5 grams of fat. Come to Wendy's. It's better here.

Standard Match
Zac K vs "Doc Otaku" Tenchi Takahashi

David: Well, now we have a match between a young man who appears to be on a roll, lately, in Zac K, going against a debuting athlete in “Doc Otaku” Tenchi Takahashi.

Travis: Now that I’ve had time to think about it, wasn’t Mia with Panthro a few weeks ago? Now she’s got some other guy? Damn, she gets around more than I do.

David: If you got around, that is.

Travis: Shut it!

Jean Fortello: The following match is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Binghamton, New York, weighing in at 200 lbs, being accompanied to the ring by his wife Karen. . . ZAC K!!!

((Zac K walks out from behind the curtains and stands at the top of the ramp and his fists shoot out of his sides like a crucifix position, ( Tommy Dreamers pose when he has the singapore cane). While he's standing there his wife/manager Karen Walks out and up to his back and wraps her arms around him and after she does that she lets go and they both walk down the ramp and Zac slides into the ring and Karen stays on the outside. Zac walks over to the ring rope and Karen climbs up onto he apron and gives Zac a kiss and then she hops down and Zac waits in the ring.))

David: Zac looking ready to take this rookie apart.

Travis: So, wait. If Mia and this Tenchi guy are this hot and heavy, then she had to be screwing him while she and Panthro were together.

David: Travis, drop it! And watch your language!

Jean Fortello: And his opponent, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 190 lbs. . . “DOCTOR OTAKU” TENCHI TAKAHASHI!!!

((“Larger than Life” plays as laser lights of green red and blue illuminate the stage. Tenchi leaps out enthusiastically dancing to the rthym of the music. He runs down the ramp and in the ring jumping to his feet. He leaps to the ring post showboating for the crowd as the music fades. Before Tenchi can get down from the turnbuckle post, Zac charges him from behind, slamming a shoulder down into Tenchi’s back, sending Tenchi, hard, to the guardrail Zac handsprings over the top rope, hitting a dragonrana, sending Tenchi into the apron. Tenchi gets to his feet quickly, jumping, going for a hurracanrana, only to have Zac yank him back into the air as he begins to descend, going for a powerbomb, Tenchi reversing it again, sending Zac into the ropes, to crash back down, facefirst, to the ground itself. Tenchi dives into the ring.))

David: This rookie is relying on his speed.

Travis: Of course. If he relied on anything else, he’d be a big loser, like all the other morons Zac fought. And hey, if Zac wins, maybe he can go sleep with Mia. Hell, she seems to be getting around lately.

David: Over your crush on Mia, are you, Travis?

Travis: I don’t want to sleep with her anymore. There’s no telling what diseases she has.

((Tenchi waits in the ring, and, as Zac slides into the ring, he is summarily kicked in the midsection, and piledriven into the ground. Tenchi springs to the top rope.))

David: I believe he calls that the Saiyan-sault.

Travis: Yeah. I call it the money-maker.

David: Bet on the rookie this time out?

Travis: Yeah. I did it for Mia. But I’m glad that’s over.

((1. . . 2. . . 3!!!))

Jean Fortello: Here is your winner, “Doctor Otaku” Tenchi Takahashi!

David: Folks, we'll be right back after this with our main event.

Main Event
Rubber Crayon Match

Hans Kuhmann vs B.D.

David: And welcome to the main event here on WarZone... A Rubber Crayon match between B.D. of the New Darkside and Hans Kuhmann of Die Zerstorer.

Travis: Whose bright idea was this match anyway?

David: I believe it was Commissioner Novak's.

Travis: Bah! A woman like her doesn't deserve...

Cherisse: Doesn't deserve what, Travis? I warned you to watch your mouth or you'd be sorry!

((Cherisse Novak is standing at the top of the ramp, holding the inflated Crayola crayon to be hung above the ring. She walks down to the ring and hands the crayon to the referee. He carefully puts it on the hook, then waves it up. The hook rises, stopping ten feet above the ring. Cherisse stops beside the announce table and gives Travis an icy look.))

Cherisse: As punishment for not watching what you say, it gives me great pleasure to tell you that effective immediately, you are no longer allowed to place any bets on any match here in the HWC. Your bookies have closed your accounts. It's over, Travis. Now maybe you'll save some of your money for once!

((She walks backstage and the crowd erupts in a tumult of cheers. Travis ducks down with a quiet eep.))

David: While my broadcast partner regains his composure, let's go to ringside.

Jean Fortello: The following contest is a RUBBER CRAYON MATCH! The only way to win is to get the crayon off the hook and use it on your opponent. Introducing first... From the Second Tier of Hell... Weighing in at 260 pounds... Representing the New Darkside... B.D.!

((As the music fades in, the lights fade, and the HWC-tron shows a very distinguished looking gentleman, in an elaborate study, his hands resting on his left knee, folded over his right. As the song proceeds, the man's voice cuts in. "Look, I know the supernatural is something that isn't supposed to happen, but it does happen." The HWC-tron then fades to black, and two large red dots appear on the Tron, only to flow down, and leave behind two letters made from the red liquid, in B.D. Smoke fills the entranceway and the ring, after a few seconds obscuring both, the lights come back up, the smoke flowing from the ring, showing B.D. waiting, in a low crouch, for the match to start.))

Jean Fortello: And his opponent... From Frankfurt, Germany... Weighing in at 220 pounds... He is one half of Die Zerstorer... HANS KUHMANN!

((Seek & Destroy plays on the PA,with white strobes flashing in the entrance way. As the main body of the song kicks in, there is a blast of pyro, and Hans steps out. Hans paces back and forth across the stage a couple of times, gesturing for the fans to get on their feet, then power walks to the ring. He vaults over the top rope, climbs the corner, and flashes the "crossed hammers" at the fans, then repeats at the opposite corner. B.D. erupts in a fit of giggles as the bell rings, causing Hans to give him a funny look. Then Hans charges B.D., going for a clothesline. B.D. pie-faces him, then hits him with a clothesline of his own. Hans goes down hard, giving B.D. time to go for the ladder. Hans gets up and crawls under the ladder, then yanks B.D's foot off. B.D. slides down the ladder, his chin going thump-thump-thump-thump-thump all the way down. Hans goes up the ladder, but B.D. grabs his foot and yanks backward. Hans does what B.D. did... Slides all the way down on his face. B.D. scrambles up one side of the ladder, Hans going up the other. They reach for the crayon at the same time and both get their hands on it.))

Travis: Holy shit... Shades of the Chair Match here, David...

David: I heard about that. I hope that ladder doesn't tip this way!

Travis: Me too!

David: Wait a minute... It looks like B.D. has the crayon!

((Spoken arightly, David... B.D. has the inflated crayon. He giggles as he boinks Hans with it, getting the relatively easy win. Of course, some of his few remaining wits may have been shaken loose... Although him having any wits left remains to be seen. Hans shakes his head and climbs back down the ladder, leaving the ring in disgust. The rat-a-tat of his head on the ladder left him slightly dizzy and with a pounding headache. B.D. is still sitting on top of the ladder, giggling at the crayon. The lights flicker, then steady to reveal The Creeper standing in the ring. His voice carries easily, even without a microphone.))

The Creeper: B.D., come down from there.

B.D.: No! The crayon's lonely!

The Creeper: You can bring it with you.

((B.D. brightens instantly and clambers down the ladder, bringing that purple crayon with him. The Creeper rolls his eyes and the brothers disappear.))

David: What a night this has been! Fans, for Travis Best, I'm David Tanjic. Goodnight and we'll see you next week!

((The scene dies as the transmission fades. Copyright Hardcore Wrestling Corporation, 2003))