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((The screen engulfs in fire burning quickly and leaving behind the burn remains of the blue HWC logo followed by the word "Brutality being spray painted over it. The image fades as the voice of Fred Drust is head saying, "If only we could fly!" Shots of Panthro, and Jericho, and Kidd are seen as My Generation starts to play followed by a shot of BloodLust Slayerz delivering the Slayerz Spear to Ace. As the song gets hard so does the images, such as The Tiger nailing Autumn, Panthro, Sarafan, and Jarred with a chair follwing by the beat down of The Tiger at the hand of Bad News. The song slows showing The Creeper and Blood Dragon staring each other down just before they go blow to blow with the song speeding up again. The shot changes to that of Celtic standing in the ring with his fist raised and another of him delivering a big boot to Vivian. Before the song ends shots of Jericho getting brutal with a cane, and B.D. beating away on Lucien are seen. As the song fades the images fade to black as a small spot light pans over a tattered broken blood covered belt, then back to black.))
Eddie: Welcome to the first Slaughter after Oblivion! We are LIVE from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada at the Halifax Metro Center! I am, of course, Eddie Daniels and with me like the plague is...
Travis: Travis Best! HEY!
Eddie: *laughing* Anyway, folks, we have a hell of a show for you tonight... Including a Handicap Tag Team Match. So let's get right to it, shall we?
Standard Match
Shadow vs Mr. Meaner
Jean Fortello: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Mr. Meaner!
((The fans boo slightly, not in the least bit interested in his lackadasical entrance.))
Jean Fortello: And his opponent... From Los Angeles, California... Weighing in at 245 pounds... SHADOW!
((The arena goes black. Red fog hits the entrance running down the ring. A explosion hits and "Out ta Get Me" starts. Shadow walks out and does a pose and cause another explosion. Walks down and enters the ring. Gets on one of the top ropes and poses. Meaner jumps him from behind, hitting him with a forearm to the neck. Shadow and Meaner lock up, both trying to force each other into the ropes. Shadow gains the advantage pushing Meaner back against the ropes. The ref breaks it up. Meaner puts a few boots to the gut of Shadow. Shadow lays into Meaner with a few rights before a left. Meaner stumbles back into the ropes, irish whip by Shadow to Meaner. Shadow goes for a back body drop. Meaner flips over Shadow's back and jumps onto the middle rope. Meaner hits a beautiful drop kick on Shadow from the ropes, Shadow rolls out to the arena floor. Meaner follows sending Shadow into the barrier. Shadow comes back with a knee to the mid section followed by a whip into the ring post. Shadow rolls into the ring to break up the count and then back out. Meaner and Shadow both begin fighting on the arena floor. Shadow lands an upper cut followed by a boot to the mid section and finishing off with a DDT on Meaner. Shadow rolls Meaner into the ring and climbs back in.))
Eddie: Both these men have something to prove. They are both new comers to this fed.
Travis: They both suck. Neither one knows how to properly execute any of these moves.
Eddie: I would say Shadow made a great move out here on the floor just a moment ago with his triple move tactic to gain the upper hand.
Travis: Rookie move. That's all.
Eddie: Shut up.
((Shadow still has the upper hand on Meaner. Meaner tries to fight back with punches to the mid section from his knees but to no avail. Shadow lets off with a furious head butt. All of a sudden a roar of boos erupt from the fans. The camera pans to see a lone figure walking down to the ring.))
Eddie: That's....THAT'S THE SAINT FROM THE XAW AND HE HAS ON AN XAW SHIRT AS WELL.
Travis: What the hell is he doing here?
Eddie: I don't know but he seems to have his eyes set on both men in the ring.
((The Saint climbs into the ring and tosses down the duffel bag he brought with him. The ref starts yelling at him right away but Saint just shoves the ref down. Shadow turns towards Saint and gets a boot the gut. Saint flips Shadow upside down and lands a tombstone pile driver. Saint grabs Meaner by the hair and drags him to his feet. Saint points to his right boot and then Meaner's gut before kicking Meaner and landing Demon Drop (Stone Cold Stunner). The ref calls for the bell. Saint reaches for a microphone.))
Saint: Yo. You guys can boo me all you want, but the fact of the matter is. I am now official HWC property. In this bag I have with me, the XAW World Heavyweight Title and the Fight Belt, along with my contract to the XAW. And in one minute you will see them all destroyed.
((Saint drops the mic and reaches into the duffel bag, pulling out both titles and laying them down on the ring. He then pulls out his XAW Contract and tears it to pieces before dropping it all onto the ring as well. Saint then picks up both titles and throws them out into the crowd before grabbing the microphone again.))
Saint: Do what you want with that trash. The XAW is dead.
((Saint drops the mic as Nobody's Listening hits the PA. The crowd boos wildy at the former XAW Super Star. At the top of the ramp Saint stops and looks down at his shirt, he looks out over the crowd before grabbing the top of the shirt and tearing a perfect line down the middle and tossing it down onto the stage. Saint then heads off to the back.))
(Scene opens on a pay phone. A man walks up and picks up the receiver and dials zero.)
Voice: What the hell do you think you're doing?
(The man turns to see Kidd Rock walk up to him.)
Man: Making a collect call.
Kidd: By dialing zero? What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you know about 1-800-COLLECT?
Man: 1-800-COLLECT?
Kidd: Yeah. The easy way to make collect calls. Plus you'll save the people you call a buck or two. Just put 1-800 in front of collect.
Man: That's so easy, why didn't I think of that?
Kidd: Well, you'll remember for next time right?
Man: Sure.
Kidd: Cause if you don't I'll send them to your house.
(Kidd points and the man sees the entire HWC roster looking at him with their arms crossed and a few tapping their feet or pounding their fists into their hands.)
Announcer: 1-800-COLLECT. Use it and save a buck or two.
Standard Match
Sarafan vs Darkstar
Eddie: Welcome back, everyone! We have an absolutely PHENOMENAL night lined up, including the returning Bad News and Blood Dragon!
Travis: Big deal, Eddie. After the way this show started, I think I need a drink.
Eddie: You know how President Lewis feels about drinking while on the air. And if that's not enough, I've received word that Commissioner Novak has her eye on you...
Travis: Big whoop! What now, another set of losers?
Eddie: Not quite, Travis. Let's go to ringside.
Jean Fortello: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Currently in the ring... DARKSTAR!
((The stranger in the ring is a woman, fans not really interested in her. They give her lackadaisical applause.))
Jean Fortello: And her opponent... Being accompanied by Johnny Cho... From Okinawa, Japan... SARAFAN!
((At the back of the stage, a grey sphere rolls to the top of the ramp. As Queensryche blares over the airwaves, a laser beam strikes the sphere and cracks it open. Grey fog billows out, then rapidly disperses, revealing a lone figure. The figure moves forward, now identified as a striking female. Behind her and to her right, a man emerges in a black dress shirt and trousers. The pants of her ring outfit are decorated with red embroidery. Her long black hair is pulled back in a braid to minimize the risks of her hair being pulled. She pads down to the ring, Johnny Cho behind her the whole way, reaching out to the fans, slapping hands all the way to the ring.))
Travis: Where's she been? Nobody's heard from her since Oblivion.
Eddie: Travis, her father is in some sort of coma. She's been spending all her waking moments with him, trying to figure out what's wrong.
Travis: So?
Eddie: Travis, you really astound me with your lack of compassion.
((Sarafan slides into the ring, eyes fixed on the young woman in front of her. Johnny situates himself beside the announce table, watching his beloved with a smile in his eyes. The bell rings, but before the match can truly get underway, jobbers pour down the ramp, one of them taking Johnny down with a brutal chair shot. The rest go into the ring and start beating on the hapless young women who happen to be there to compete.))
Eddie: What's going on? Where did they come from?
Travis: I don't know... But I love it!
Eddie: Dear God, they've targeted Sarafan! And Johnny is down on the outside!
((Air Raid points to Mystic J, who grabs Sarafan by her braid and holds her. Thus far, they've only kicked at her. But now Air Raid pulls back to punch her in the stomach. His arm is cocked and ready to throw a devastating punch... A punch that never lands. He gets thrown backward by a foot to his face!))
Eddie: YES! Sarafan is fighting back!
((She manages to get free, only to be felled by a punch in the face. She's curled up in a ball, protecting her face and stomach from any blows. The fans nearest the ramp are first on their feet, screaming and applauding the figure that comes pelting down the ramp. As more people see them, the cheers get louder and louder until...))
Eddie: IT'S JESSIE!
Travis: WHAT?
Eddie: Jessie Blankenship is here to restore order!
Travis: Where'd she come from? Shouldn't she be at the refreshment table in the back?
((Jessie shoots into the ring from the top turnbuckle, taking Mystic J down with the Shadow Wave. The other jobbers scatter, heading backstage, taking Air Raid and Mystic with them. Jessie can see the Lurker in the group and her eyes darken until they're nearly black. Then she takes off after them, holding a steel chair in one hand.))
Eddie: Where'd that chair come from?
Travis: I dunno, but she'd better get back to her place in the catering room.
Eddie: Oh, dear God. She saw the Lurker. This doesn't look good...
Travis: I know. There's a lot of hungry wrestlers in the back who won't be served.
Eddie: Travis, you really are an idiot. I meant it doesn't look good for the Lurker! Don't you remember what he did to Jessie's father?
Travis: Who cares?
((Eddie just rolls his eyes as Jessie chases the jobbers backstage. Air Raid turns to face her and gets the chair cracked against his skull for his trouble. The fans cheer loudly as he falls. The others turn around and Lurker smirks as they surround her. Mystic J seems to disappear...))
Eddie: Oh, dear.
Travis: Serves her right!
((Cushion rips the chair out of her hands and throws it aside, leaving her apparently unarmed. WRONG!!! They go to gang up on her, but Cushion goes flying backward, treated to a thunderous Superkick!))
Lurker: Your luck's just run out, Jessica... Just like your father's. But don't worry... You'll be joining him soon enough.
Jessie: You self-absorbed son of a bitch... If you'd been paying attention, you would have seen him being loaded into an ambulance!
Lurker: *smile fading a bit* What?
Jessie: You goofed, Lurker... You should have caved his skull in when you had the chance. He's alive! And when he comes back, guess who he's going to go after first?
((Jesse Madison throws a punch and gets his hand kicked away. Jessie grabs him and nails an incredible suplex, leaving him sprawled on the floor! But there are still too many for her to get rid of on her own...))
Lurker: Get her.
((Jessie goes down in a tangle of limbs as the jobbers bring her to her knees. The fans scream in shock, not seeing a flicker on the edge of the screen. They don't know anybody's there until a 2 x 4 swings out and nails Skull Cowboy in the head. The 2 x 4 lashes out again, catching Agent Jobber in the side, doubling him over. Tank goes flying thanks to a well-placed boot to the ribs. The Lurker is the only one standing and he turns to see who took out his men...))
Eddie: IT'S PALAEMON!
((Palaemon shoulders the 2 x 4 as he uses his other hand to help Jessie stand up. The fans cheer wildly for him, the sound reaching his ears and making him speak boldly. His English is heavily accented, but understandable.))
Palaemon: Lurker, you can go on your own, or I can send you out in an ambulance. It's up to you.
Lurker: You're the one who's going out in an ambulance!
Palaemon: We'll just see about that... Are you all right, Jessie?
Jessie: *rubbing her jaw* I'm fine now, thanks to you.
Lurker: She's nothing... A worthless nobody who thinks she can use her father's name to get the fans to respect her.
Eddie: That's not true! She's earned their respect just by being herself!
Travis: That remains to be seen... She's not really all that good in the ring anyway. She goofed her finisher, remember?
Eddie: She was worried about her father!
((The fans are boo'ing Lurker for all they're worth. Jessie hears it and a small smirk spreads across her face.))
Jessie: Remember what you did to my father, Lurker? You had him chained up in some basement somewhere and beat him to within an inch of his life! For what?
Lurker: Revenge.
Jessie: You idiot... IT WASN'T HIM! He was in a coma the night you were assaulted! HOW THE HELL CAN A MAN IN A COMA GET UP AND ATTACK SOMEONE? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!
((Palaemon discards the 2 x 4 and maneuvers around so he's behind the Lurker... A jumping DDT, and Lurker is laid out flat! Jessie smiles and holds out her hand to Palaemon when a sharp retort is heard. Palaemon jerks, then drops to the ground, blood pouring from a wound on his back. The fans gasp and Jessie stares down at him, not seeing Mystic J standing there with something in his hand...))
Eddie: My GOD! MYSTIC J JUST SHOT PALAEMON!
((Jessie turns and sees him with the gun in his hand. Paramedics come running, having heard the gunshot from their station near the ambulance. She can see them out of the corner of her eye and nods imperceptibly, then charges Mystic J, eyes absolutely colorless in her rage.))
Eddie: What is she doing? She's going after an armed man!
Travis: She's lost what little mind she has!
((Mystic J lifts the gun for another shot, but it goes flying out of his hand. He stares down in shock, seeing someone's boot lowering down to the floor. Jessie hits Mystic J with a flying tackle that would make her papa proud of her... Mystic crumples to the floor, holding his ribcage. Jessie stares at him, blood roaring in her ears, hands clenched into fists as she tries to think of a way to make him pay for what he's done. She doesn't know anybody's there until a hand rests on her shoulder. The owner of the voice is someone she knows very well indeed...))
Angela: Is he really worth it?
Jessie: He shot Palaemon...
Angela: Let the police deal with him. Come on, it's your turn to sit with your dad.
Jessie: I... Okay.
((Angela leads the obviously dazed young woman to her locker room so she can collect her gear. The paramedics run Palaemon to the ambulance, administering CPR as they go. The fans are in absolute shock. Back at ringside, Johnny finally gets up and sees Sarafan curled up in the ring. Sliding under the bottom rope, he shakes her shoulder anxiously. Her arms come down and she lifts her head to look him in the eyes. He helps her up and their attention is immediately diverted to the motionless Darkstar. Another stretcher comes down and takes her away. She'll never wrestle in the HWC again... But it wasn't her fault. Wrong place, wrong time.))
Eddie: This has been a bizarre night at best so far, folks... We'll be back after this.
Travis: Bizarre doesn't begin to describe it!
(Blood Dragon is sitting at a Wendy's with Zoe. He's eating one of the new Wendy's salads.)
Zoe: What'cha got?
Blood: A Wendy's salad.
Man at next table (laughing): The big bad wrestler is eating a salad? (Laughs harder.) What a wimp! Only wimps eat salad!
(Suddenly we see the man flying across the Wendy's screaming, followed by a thud as he lands on the floor. Cut back to Zoe brushing her hands off.)
Zoe: No one calls my husband a wimp except me!
Blood: Thanks hon...HEY!
Announcer: Now Wendy's has great salads with under 5 grams of fat. Come to Wendy's. It's better here.
((Cut to a lounge area in the back, with a comfortable-looking sofa, a coffee table arranged with a vegetable tray, and a television arranged for viewing the show. Seated on the couch is Kidd Rock and his his girlfriend, Rayven. They are sitting close together, she leaning against him and he with his arm around her shoulders. Rayven leans leans forward, plucks a carrot stick off the tray, and feeds it to a grinning Kidd. Just then, they turn to see a skinny teenager standing there, watching them. He has long wild-looking black hair, a square jaw, and piercing steel grey eyes. He starts to approach, but is stopped short by a look from Kidd.))
Kidd: (crunching the carrot stick) Sorry kid, you gotta have a pass to be back here.
Teen: (in a light German accent) Oh, yes, I have a backstage pass. (digs it out of his pocket and presents it) You are Kidd Rock, yes?
Kidd: (with a quick "I'm sorry" look to Rayven, then grins at the teen) that's me!
Teen: Good! You have been around the HWC longer than anybody else, haven't you?
Kidd: Yes I have, almost five years now! I think the only ones who have been here longer are the announcers and the senior referee!
Teen: Good, then perhaps you can help me. I am looking for Klaus von Hammer. Do you know him?
Kidd: (his smile fading a bit) He doesn't work here anymore.
Teen: (looking a bit crestfallen) Oh, I did not know that. Do you know possibly where he went?
Kidd: (shaking his head) Sorry kid, I didn't really know him all that well. (brightens a bit as he looks down the corridor at someone) But I can tell you who did!
Teen: (also brightening) Yes?
((Kidd points, and the teen, as well as the camera, follow the gesture. Heading towards the "go" position is Hans Kuhmann, in his new black-and-white tights, sipping from a bottle of water. The camera swings back to Kidd & the inquisitive teen.))
Teen: Who is he?
Kidd: That's Hans Kuhmann. He and Klaus were tag team partners. And best friends. Klaus brought Hans to the HWC about three years ago.
Teen: (anxious to get moving) Thanks!
Kidd: (catching his shoulder) You better not bother him right now. He's got a match in a couple of minutes, and it's never good to bother a wrestler before a match. You might try him afterwards though, unless he loses...which I doubt, given who he's taking on tonight. But if he does lose, give him some space.
Teen: (nodding) I can understand that myself. You see, I am a wrestler as well, and I am hoping to get a tryout match here with the HWC. But I also wanted to see if I could locate my father. Well, thank you for your help. I will leave you and your, ah, friend alone.
Kidd: Hey, no problem. And good luck on getting that tryout!
((The skinny teen hurries away, and Kidd sits back down next to Rayven, then turns to look back at the kid.))
Kidd: Did he say "father"?
(A man is walking down the street and he sees a massage parlor. He rubs his sore back and walks inside.)
Woman: Can I help you?
Man: My back is killing me!
Woman: Right this way.
(We cut to the man laying on a massage table facedown with a towel covering him from the waist down. A masseuse walks in showing a generous amount of cleavage.)
Masseuse: Just relax, sir.
(The man sees her and smiles laying his head down. The man suddenly opens his eyes and groans as his back cracks. We see Draven Masters working over the man's back with pounding blows while the masseuse massages his shoulders. The camera gets a closeup of Draven grinning as he continues to work over the man's back, as we hear the man grunting and groaning and the sound of his back cracking. Finally we see Draven walk away and pull a Snicker's Cruncher bar out of his pocket. He takes a bite and grins.)
Announcer: There's no crunch more satisfying than that of a Snicker's Cruncher.
(Behind Draven the man comes walking out bent over and groaning in pain. The masseuse comes up and gives him a Snicker's Cruncher too. He takes a bite and grins as he walks off.)
Announcer: Snicker's Cruncher. A satisfying crunch.
Last Man Standing Match
Matt 'The Sadistic One' Montey vs Hans Kuhmann
Eddie: Well, folks, now, we have ourselves a match between Hans Kuhmann and Matt Montey. A Last Man Standing match, no less.
Travis: Isn’t Montey the guy that calls himself “The Sadistic One”?
Eddie: That he is, Travis.
Travis: So, we have The Sadistic One facing off with the less sadistic of the two germans that were once called Die Zerstorer.
Eddie: Less sadistic?
Travis: Yeah. Klaus was the bigger of the two in every way. The bigger sadist, the bigger nutjob, the bigger drunk, the bigger musclehead. You name it.
Jean Fortello: The following match is a Last Man Standing match. Introducing first, from Frankfurt, Germany, weighing in at 220 lbs . . . HANS KUHMANN!!!
((Seek & Destroy plays on the PA, with white strobes flashing in the entrance way. As the main body of the song kicks in, there is a blast of pyro, and Hans steps out. Hans paces back and forth across the stage a couple of times, gesturing for the fans to get on their feet, then power walks to the ring. He vaults over the top rope, climbs the corner, and flashes the "crossed hammers" at the fans, then repeats at the opposite corner.))
Eddie: Hans looking pumped.
Travis: He should! He’s had weeks and weeks off! And still did pretty good, considering, in the Rumble to decide new DisasterPiece champion.
Eddie: Travis, remember, Hans has no problem coming over here and kicking you around like a soccer ball. And Germans are good at soccer.
Travis: I’m not afraid of him. Tell him to go back to what he does best, and drink.
Jean Fortello: And his opponent, from St. Paul, Minnesota, weighing in at 235 lbs . . . MATT “THE SADISTIC ONE” MONTEY!!!
((The lights in the arena go out. Church bells begin to play over the PA. As the bells fade into the background the lights begin to flicker. “-And out of the darkness the Sadist did fall, true pain and suffering be brought to them all. Away was the Roster to hide in the halls, for fear that the Sadist would chop off their balls.” The Church bells slowly grow over the speaker. A blast of fire shoots out of the ring posts. A spot light hits the ring and we see Matt 'The Sadistic One' Montey standing in the spot light, a chair in hand. TSO turns, cracking the rushing Hans in the face with the chair. TSO doesn’t let up for even a moment, the chair tapping a steady, dull rhythm on Hans’ face, before stepping back. The referee begins to count. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . Hans gets to a knee, then to his feet, before the 6, TSO charging forward, swinging the chair, Hans ducking under the chairshot attempt, grabbing the chair, resting it against TSO’s face, then dropping TSO back, hard, in a reverse facebuster style move, effectively sandwiching TSO’s head between the chair and the mat, before, quickly, getting to his feet, jumping into the air, doing a double-footed stomp into the chair, on TSO’s face. Hans backs up, to catch his breath, the referee administering the count. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7 . . . TSO suddenly lurches, moving to the ropes, climbing the ropes to his feet, standing before 9. Hans moves toward TSO, TSO exploding out of the ropes with a big clothesline, flooring Hans, TSO moving to the corner, looking to be setting up for a superkick.))
Eddie: Already, we’ve had two almost victories, and this match has just started!
Travis: These two guys aren’t trying to win a match, they’re both trying to prove they’re more sadistic than the other guy. And if The Sadistic One doesn’t win that contest, then his name is kinda pointless.
Eddie: You’re on an opinionated kick today, aren’t you?
Travis: What? It’s not my fault I can’t stand either of these guys.
((Hans gets to his feet, slowly, his back to TSO, slowly turning, TSO firing off a superkick, Hans ducking it, just barely, quickly swinging TSO onto his shoulders, faceup, then swinging TSO out, looking to be going for the Hammer Drop, Klaus’s old finisher, TSO spinning in midair, dropping to his feet, stunning Hans momentarily with a shoulderblock to the stomach, then stepping back, hitting a perfect superkick, going to the top rope.))
Eddie: TSO’s going for that combo he calls the Mouth Shutter!
Travis: Well, look at that. TSO might win this match yet.
((Hans, on the mat, looks up, seeing TSO on the turnbuckle, then simply rolls out, under the bottom rope, TSO dropping from the turnbuckle, walking to the ropes, missing Hans grabbing a chair from under the ring. TSO goes to slide outside the ring, only to get caught, before he can put his feet down, with a vicious chairshot, dropping TSO to his back. Hans staggers backward, shaking his head, then sliding into the ring, leaning against the bottom turnbuckle of the nearest turnbuckles. The referee begins the count. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7 . . . somehow, TSO gets to his feet, using the apron, before the 8, sliding into the ring, seeing Hans, and, quickly, running at Hans, hitting a low dropkick, crushing Hans against the bottom turnbuckle. TSO pulls Hans to his feet, shoving him back, to stand, in the corner, stepping back, and drilling a superkick to, of all people, the referee.))
Eddie: TSO just hit the referee! That can’t have been an accident!
Travis: I doubt it was. Or, if it was, TSO needs glasses.
Eddie: TSO, now. . . wait. What is he doing?
((TSO picks up the ref, perching him on the top turnbuckle, in a seated position, grabbing a chair. Before TSO could attack the referee as he visibly had planned, Hans grabs him from behind, hitting TSO with an almost vertical Hammer Drop, before looking around, realizing the referee is still fairly well dazed on the turnbuckle. Hans moves to the turnbuckle, scaling the turnbuckle quickly enough, helping the referee to stand then, glancing over his shoulder at the still-down TSO, says something to the referee, who, by now, is standing on the turnbuckle. The referee nods weakly, and then, to the surprise of nearly everyone in the arena, Hans jumps onto the referee’s shoulders, on the top turnbuckle, hitting a familiar, high, arcing moonsault from the top of the referee’s shoulders.))
Eddie: LUFTWAFFE DIVE! FROM THE TOP OF THE REFEREE’S SHOULDERS!
Travis: Okay, is crazy contagious? Because now, we have formerly sane people doing crazy moves!
Eddie: I don’t believe so, Travis. But that was amazing!
((Hans hits TSO perfectly, then, purely on momentum, rolls back, onto his knees, then falling back to sit against the ropes. Hans, a smile on his face, simply sits against the ropes, shrugging, as the referee drops from the turnbuckle, and begins the count. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7 . . . 8 . . . 9 . . . 10!!!))
Jean Fortello: Here is your winner, HANS KUHMANN!!!
Eddie: After that incredible Luftwaffe Dive, it was academic.
Travis: But still impressive.
((Cut to the back, where we see Hans Kuhmann, with a towel draped around his shoulders, and stopping at the refreshment table and picking up a bottle of water. He twists the top off and tips the bottle back, then stops when he feels eyes on him. He turns to see this skinny kid staring at him from the doorway, unfamiliar save for his coal-black hair, in this case short and wild, and the steel-grey eyes. he boldly takes a step into the room, his eyes locked in Hans.))
Kid: It's really you...Hans Kuhmann!
Hans: (tossing the towel into a nearby hamper) Should I know you?
Kid: My name is Dieter. My dad...he used to work here. I understand you knew him quite well.
Hans: (leaning back against the table and taking a sip of water) The only person I knew very well was Klaus von Hammer. He's not around anymore, thanks to Austin Perremont....(blinks and sits up again) Wait, you said "used to" work here.
Dieter: (grinning) Yes, he was my father!
(Hans stares at the kid for a moment, gaping, then starts to see the similarities...The square jaw...the hair, black as night...and those eyes...a penetrating steel grey...Yes, he could almost see Klaus in that face...this skinny kid is the son of Klaus von Hammer?!))
Hans: You're sure about that? I mean, I can see a resemblance, but....well, you're not exactly bulging with muscles.
Dieter: My foster parents had a DNA test done...He is definitely my father.
Hans: (shaking his head slightly) This is astounding...You're what, sixteen?
Dieter: Good guess. I just turned eighteen in January. And I already have my American work visa, so I can maybe get a contract here.
Hans: (blinking again) Contract....here?
Dieter: (grinning even more) Yes, in the HWC.
Hans: (gaping again) You're a WRESTLER?!
Dieter: That's right! I guess you could say it's in the blood...but I wanted to talk more about my dad, and you knew him better than anybody.
Hans: (pondering a moment, then moving to the door) Follow me...we can talk while I get changed.
((Dieter follows Hans out the door, then the camera switches to the somewhat aghast Eddie & Travis.))
Travis: Klaus von Hammer had a kid? That's unreal!
Eddie: I agree, but it's apparently true. There's definitely a resemblance there, and he says he has a DNA test to prove it!
Travis: Come on Eddie, those can be faked, if you have the money!
Eddie: You know, you would be much nice if you weren't so cynical!
Travis: Bite me!
Eddie: On the other hand...maybe not!
Standard Match
Sephiroth du Lac vs. Draven Masters
((Eddie is cut off as Click Click Boom" blasts over the PA and the fans cheer wildly as Ravin Masters comes out onto the stage and walks to the ramp walking about halfway down and then throws up her hands. A huge blast of pyro goes off on the stage behind her and when it fades, Draven Masters is standing on the stage.))
Jean Fortello: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, representing Bad News, and accompanied by Ravin, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 290 pounds...DRRRAVEN MASTERRRRS!!!!
((The fans give Draven & Ravin a warm welcome, as Draven walks to Ravin and the two head to the ring. Draven and his sister reach the ring and she gives him a kiss on the cheek for good luck. Draven climbs into the ring and pumps his fists in the air for the fans, who cheer even more.))
Eddie: Draven Masters is glad to be back, and the fans are glad to see him!
Travis: I missed that hottie Ravin! She's looking better than ever!
Eddie: Careful Travis, I hear she's a witch. She may decide that you'll look better as a turnip or a radish!
Travis: That's okay, I got my lucky rabbit's foot and my four-leaf clover!
Eddie: You're incorrigible.
(("Click Click Boom fades out, then the lights go out as a beautiful choir sings in Latin. The screen shows Seph's Symbol (A cross inside an eternal Pentagram) as the voices begin to fade. Finally Lightning effects strike the stage area and blue pyro flames shoot up and the lights flicker on. "Whisper" by Evanescence begins to play as Seph and the Sabbat Pack walk to the ring.))
Jean Fortello: His opponent, accompanied by the Sabbat Pack, from du Lac Manor in New York, weighing 246 pounds... SEPHIROTH DU LAC!!!!
((A few fans cheer, but most are in awe of the man who has apparently cheated death for a second time. Chloe, Brimstone, and Trent all move to one side of the ring as Sephiroth climbs into the ring. Draven just watches, bouncing from one foot to the other.))
Eddie: Ladies and gentlemen, don't you dare change that channel, or else you'll miss what's sure to be a classic match-up!
Travis: What, are we going to commercial now?
Eddie: Hell no we're not going to commercial! Just making sure that the viewers don't blink, or they might miss something!
(("Whisper" fades out, and the lighting returns to normal, as senior referee Walter Powell check that both competitors are ready, then signals for the bell to begin the match. They begins by circling, then meet in the center of the ring in the standard collar-and-elbow tie-up. Draven asserts his massively superior power by simply shoving Seph halfway across the ring, which draws some cheers. Seph tumbles over backwards and comes up on one knee, eyeing Draven as he rises to his feet.))
Eddie: Nice display of power there by Draven! I don't think Sephiroth was expecting that!
Travis: Maybe not, but you can bet that Seph won't make that mistake twice!
Eddie: You're probably right about that... Seph back on his feet, and Draven is coming for him... but Seph goes low with a kick to the legs, and takes the bigger man down... and follows with a foot to the throat!!
((Draven rolls around, clutching at his throat, and Walter Powell steps in, warning Seph about the illegal move. Seph, for his part, appears unmoved by the referee's words, and moves in again. He starts to hook on a katahajimi, but Draven throws a hard elbow into Seph's face, which causes Seph to stagger back, a hand going to his nose. Draven gets back on his feet and charges at Seph, hitting a vicious Clothesline from Hell, which flips Seph completely over in midair! Seph lands with a thud as Draven, who still has not entirely recovered from the blow to the throat, leans against the ropes with a hand to his throat, then turns and covers, but gets only a 1 before Seph kicks out.))
Eddie: Draven will have to do a lot more than one clothesline to keep Sephiroth down!
Travis: Well sure, but I think all he was doing was forcing Seph to expend some energy by kicking out. He didn't even bother to hook the leg!
Eddie: that is indeed probably the case...Draven hauling Seph to his feet...A hand on his throat...CHOKESLAM! Another cover...1...2..No, kickout by Seph! Draven picking Seph up again...Setting him up possibly for the Dravenizer...INSIDE CRADLE BY SEPH!1...2...OOHH, Draven just barely kicked out!
((At ringside, Ravin applauds her brother as he gets out of the close-call. On the other side of the ring, Chloe, Brimstone, and Trent shout encouragement to Seph, who immediately leaps to his feet. Draven, after being caught off-guard by the inside cradle, is a bit peeved, and turns angrily, and runs right into a superkick from Seph! Draven bounces off the ropes from the kick, and Seph uses the advantage to hit a spin-wheel kick, which takes the bigger man off his feet. Seph immediately goes for the cover, but only gets two before Draven yanks his shoulder off the mat. Seph takes a step back as Draven starts to roll to his feet, and then, as Draven's back is to him, slaps his arms around the big man's waist!))
Eddie: German Suplex...but Seph is holding on and rolling through...another German suplex.....and another....and a fourth!
Travis: Draven sure felt those, but Seph expended a lot of energy doing that to a man who outweighs him by almost 50 pounds!
Eddie: He certainly did, but I don't think that's going to stop him....Draven getting groggily to his feet...SPEAR! SPEAR BY SEPH! The cover...1...2...3! NO DRAVEN KICKED OUT!!!
Travis: My god, that had to be two and nine-tenths! That damn referee is slow!
Eddie: That wasn't the referee, that was all Draven!
((Eddie doesn't know how right he is. Draven seems to be getting his second wind now, as Seph goes for a reverse inziguri, but Draven ducks, then runs, bouncing off the opposite ropes, And as Seph gets up hits a THUNDEROUS spear of his own, which knocks Seph through the ropes and out of the ring! Chloe runs around to help Seph out, as the referee starts the mandatory 10-count. Draven, however, doesn't feel like waiting. He climbs through the ropes, trots past Trent & Brimstone. As They begin to turn, Draven goes to nail Seph with a Big Boot, but they suddenly move towards the ring, and instead of Seph, Draven accidentally clobbers Chloe!))
Eddie! OH MY GOD! Draven accidentally kicked Chloe right in the head! This is horrible!
Travis: Damn right it is! WOMAN BEATER!!!
Eddie: Travis, you're an idiot! Draven would no more intentionally hit Chloe than he would his own sister!
Travis: Try telling that to Seph, though! He's livid!
((Travis' observation is a drastic understatement. As Trent and Brimstone push past Draven to check on Chloe, Draven just stands there, hands on the sides of his head, a chagrined look on his face. He turns to climb into the ring, and Seph, who was waiting for him, launches himself at Draven, hitting a spinning heel kick, which knocks Draven off his feet. Seph leaps to his feet, enraged, and waits for Draven to get up. When he does, Seph maneuvers behind him and clamps an arm around his head from behind, and...))
Eddie: FALLEN ANGEL DDT!!! But he's not going for the cover!
Travis: Hell no! Draven just kicked his wife in the head! Some more punishment is in order!
Eddie: Seph locking in a full nelson... No... THE SHADOWSPHERE!!! Now a cover... 1...2...3!!! Seph wins it!
(("Whisper" by Evanescence hits on the PA, but Seph doesn't bother celebrating. Instead, he immediately bails out of the ring, to where Brimstone and Trent are assisting the semi-conscious Chloe to her feet. In the ring, Draven groggily sits up, a hand on his head, looking around as if unsure what happened. Ravin climbs into the ring to check on him as Jean makes the announcement.))
Jean Fortello: Here is your winner... SEPHIROTH DU LAC!!!
((In the ring, we see Ravin assisting her brother to his feet. He looks over at the concerned trio around Chloe, and gets an anguished look on his face. He starts to go over, but both Ravin and Water Powell direct him away, as Seph and Brimstone assist Chloe up the ramp, directing glares at Draven as they go. Draven is clearly seen mouthing the words "I'm sorry! It was an accident!" at them, but they seem more worried about getting Chloe to the back and checked out.))
Eddie: What a horrific accident... Draven is beside himself.
Travis: He should be! Kicking a woman in the head! What'll he do next, chokeslam a child?
Eddie: Travis! It was an accident! You heard him say it yourself!
Travis: Hmph. I'm still not convinced.
Eddie: Figures... By the way, Jeff Wylde was spotted in the arena earlier.
Travis: I'm not afraid of him!
Eddie: *shaking his head* My broadcast partner is an idiot... Fans, don't touch that dial. We'll be right back with our main event, a handicap match featuring The Pyre and an unlikely trio of Matthew Montey, Lucien Merriuci and their partner... Blood Dragon!
Travis: Matt and Lucien are the Tag Team Champions, you know...
Eddie: Thanks to Jarred! That no-good, dirty rotten snake in the grass!
Travis: Now, Eddie, remember your blood pressure.
((Eddie hauls off and whaps Travis with his clipboard, dislodging his headset as the scene fades in to a commercial.))
(Two men are standing in a locker room.)
First man: Are you sure we should be doing this?
Second man: Of course. What could possibly go wrong?
First man: I don't know. This isn't what I had in mind.
(The door opens and Autumn Lewis sticks her head in.)
Autumn: You boys ready?
(They nod.)
Autumn: Come and get em girls!
(She throws the door open and Tiger and Harley charge into the room grabbing the men and are seen applying various painful wrestling holds on them. The men grunt and groan and Autumn and Martin Smalls are standing in the doorway laughing and drinking Mountain Dew Code Reds.)
Announcer: No cheap dates. Mountain Dew Code Red. Live by the code.
(Cut to a shot of Tiger with the Crossface on one of the men and him tapping out on the floor.)
Announcer: Now for a limited time, on specially marked bottles of Mountain Dew Code Red, you could instantly win tickets to a free HWC event and meet your favorite wrestler. Check the cap to see if you're an instant winner, or win hundreds of other prizes including HWC merchandise.
Main Event
Handicap Tag Team Match
The Pyre vs Lucien Merriuci, 'The Sadistic One' Matthew Montey and Blood Dragon
Eddie: And now, fans, we come to the main event! A tag team handicap match!
Travis: Big deal! I could be at the hotel watching the Kings trounce the Oilers!
Eddie: You're hopeless, Travis... We're in Halifax. They don't have a hockey team!
Travis: Ha. Serves em right!
Eddie: *shaking his head* Never mind... Let's go to ringside.
Jean Fortello: The following contest is a HANDICAP TAG TEAM MATCH and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... From the Second Tier of Hell... At a combined weight of 510 pounds... Representing the Dark Ascension... The Creeper and B.D... THE PYRE!
((The lights rapidly dim to darkness. After the intro, flames shoot up from the stage and the turnbuckles. As the flames die down, The Creeper is standing on one turnbuckle, the turnbuckles then beginning to smoke heavily, dying down after filling the ring, revealing B.D. standing on a turnbuckle parallel to his brother's.))
Jean Fortello: And their opponents... Introducing first, from Prague in the Czech Republic... Weighing in at 275 pounds... He is one half of the HWC Tag Team Champions and the HWC DisasterPiece Champion... LUCIEN MERRIUCI!
((The arena goes pitch black as "The Call of Ktulu" starts. Lucien slowly methodically walks to the ring as the lights come up to a dim. Lucien stands on the outside piercing a hole through his opponent with his eyes (metophorically speaking of course). The lights return to normal as Lucien steps into the ring.))
Eddie: Lucien winning a Battle Royal last week at Oblivion to become only the second DisasterPiece Champion along with the HWC Tag Team titles.
Travis: He's a talented guy!
Eddie: He took advantage of the rules and shoved the Tiger over the top rope... We all thought he'd been eliminated, but he wasn't.
Travis: It takes a smart guy to do that.
Eddie: I never said he wasn't smart, Travis.
Jean Fortello: And his partner... From St. Paul, Minnesota... Weighing in at 235 pounds... He is the other half of the HWC Tag Team Champions... 'THE SADISTIC ONE' MATTHEW MONTEY!
((The lights in the arena go out. Church bells begin to play over the PA. As the bells fade into the background the lights begin to flicker. And out of the darkness the Sadist did fall, true pain and suffering be brought to them all. Away was the Roster to hide in the halls, for fear that the Sadist would chop off their balls. The Church bells slowly grow over the speaker. A blast of fire shoots out of the ring posts. A spot light hits the ring and we see Matt 'The Sadistic One' Montey standing in the spot light.))
Eddie: The fans not liking Merriuci or Montey very much...
Travis: They're all fools. These guys are the Tag Team Champions!
Eddie: Let's not go over THAT again! You know how I feel about how they won those belts in the first place.
Travis: Yeah... Isn't it great?
Jean Fortello: And their partner... From Melbourne, Florida... Weighing in at 245 pounds... BLOOD DRAGON!
((As Downfall comes over the speakers, the arena pitches into darkness. Two or three blood red spotlights start searching through the crowd bathing all the fans in the deep red light. When they finally come together it is in the center of the ring, where Blood is standing with his arms raised, and his head lowered as if in prayer. Suddenly red pyro shoots off from the four ringposts to meet above Blood's, now raised, head in the shape of a red Dragon. The fans erupt in a tumult of cheers, waving and shouting his name. He looks around, visibly startled, then smiles and salutes the capacity crowd. The bell rings and Jean steps out of the ring so she won't get caught in the crossfire, as it were. B.D. steps out to the apron for The Pyre, Lucien and Blood Dragon stepping out for their side. TSO charges at The Creeper, only to be caught with a thunderous boot to the face that knocks him to the mat. TSO, being the sadistic psycho that he is, gets right back up and glares at The Creeper. Lucien turns to talk to Blood about strategy and finds nobody there!))
Eddie: Blood Dragon is leaving the ringside area!
Travis: Aw, is the widdle baby chicken?
((Blood happens to be passing by when Travis makes that comment... He glares at him, then keeps walking. Lucien starts shouting at Blood to get back to the ring. Blood turns around and GIVES LUCIEN THE FINGER!! Then he turns around and leaves! The fans roar at this stunning development, cheering Blood Dragon even as he disappears into the back.))
Eddie: Looks like Blood didn't like his partners.
Travis: And that made it all right for him to abandon them.
Eddie: In his mind, yes. And the fans still consider him part of Bad News.
Travis: These stupid inbred Canadian hicks can go jump off a cliff.
((In the ring, TSO is getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter by The Creeper. B.D. is giggling insanely on the outside, pointing to Lucien and whispering to someone only he can see. TSO manages to get away from The Creeper and tags in Lucien, who hops over the ropes, dignity still smarting from Blood giving him the finger. The Creeper watches him impassively, waiting to see what he'll do. Lucien goes for a standing dropkick, but barely manages to budge his opponent. The Creeper lets his lips tug up into a partial smile, then hits Lucien with a clothesline. Lucien drops like a stone. TSO is sprawled on the apron outside the ring, half-conscious. Lucien gets up and snarls something, then punches The Creeper in the stomach. Nothing. He circles around, then takes The Creeper down to one knee with a vicious chopblock. A standing dropkick takes the knee out completely. He gives a wordless shout of exultation, then goes for a Figure Four leglock. But The Creeper still has one leg to stand on... He uses that one to kick Lucien backward. While Lucien is shaking out the cobwebs, The Creeper stands up and plants his hands on his hips. Lucien stares at the vertical Creeper with a look of shock on his face.))
Eddie: He should know that isn't the way you take The Creeper down!
Travis: Creeps shouldn't even be standing! What gives??
Eddie: You wouldn't understand, even if we had all the time in the world.
((Lucien charges at The Creeper and gets caught in a vicious powerslam that shakes the ring. He gets up, groggy and disoriented, walking right into another clothesline. This one causes him to fall out of the ring. He lands at someone's feet... Looking up, he can see Jessie Blankenship standing there! He thinks she's there to return the favor from Oblivion... Wrong. She just stands there, then rolls him back into the ring. He gets up and walks into...))
Eddie: DEATH RATTLE!
Travis: NO!!!
Eddie: That should just about do it!
((The Creeper goes for a cover. 1... 2... 3! The bell sounds, ending the match that never really got underway, in some people's eyes.))
Jean Fortello: Here are your winners... THE PYRE!
((The Creeper leaves the ring, B.D. right behind him. They pass Jessie on the way by, but she doesn't seem to see them. Instead, she seems to be looking at her hands... Nestled in her palms is a flawless aquamarine, that's tainted by a thin red line. The Creeper looks back over his shoulder, then nods. Vivian comes down and escorts Jessie to the back, whispering urgently in her ear. All Jessie can do is show her the aquamarine. What Vivian sees startles her badly enough for her to call to The Creeper as they walk backstage.))
Vivian: Sir! I think you should see this!
Creeper: What is it, Vivian?
Vivian: Show him, Jessie.
((Jessie mutely holds out her hands, showing the aquamarine with a thin red line in the middle. Before The Creeper's very eyes, the line gets thicker, obscuring more of the gem's surface.))
Creeper: This isn't good... Take Jessica to her father. He needs her.
Vivian: Yes, sir.
((She puts her arm around Jessie and guides her to a side door, taking her out of the arena entirely. The Creeper shakes his head and looks at B.D. who's still giggling.))
Creeper: Come, we have much to prepare for.
Eddie: Travis, this is baffling! What did she show him?
Travis: Who cares? She should be at the buffet table serving the crew!
Eddie: You're a disgusting pig!
Travis: Oink, oink.
Eddie: I give up... I just give up. You are a lost cause.
((The camera cuts to the back after The Pyre secured the win, finding a small crowd gathered near the stairs leading down to the parking garage. The camera turns slightly, identifying them as Chloe Jackson, Trent O'Rielly and Brimstone, otherwise known as the Sabbat Pack.))
Eddie: I wonder what's going on here. And where's Seph?
Travis: Beats me.
((Trent turns one way and the camera sneaks in. What it reveals makes the fans scream. Lying at the bottom of the stairs is Sephiroth du Lac!))
Eddie: My God! Someone shoved Seph down the stairs!
Travis: Who would do such a thing?
Eddie: After tonight, nothing would surprise me. We saw Mystic J shoot Palaemon... Draven accidentally kick Chloe in the head... Blood Dragon abandoning his erstwhile partners... And now this!
Chloe: I wonder where Seph is.
Eddie: They don't see him down there!
((Just then, there's a heavy thump from the bottom of the stairs and Chloe turns to look. Now she can see him... Her scream attracts someone's attention. Whether it's the right kind of attention remains to be seen... But Jericho Dylan moves into camera range, looking up at Chloe from the bottom of the stairs. His eyes have an eerie amber glow even as the paramedics move in to check on Seph.))
Jericho: Calm down, Chloe. I'll get to the bottom of this!
EMT: Excuse us, Mr. DeLioncourt... We need to get the backboard in here.
EMT: How do you know so much about knee injuries?
Jericho: Because I suffered a similar injury at the hands of a man I have a great deal of respect for. Whoever attacked Seph has no morals or decency.
Trent: *raising an eyebrow* We?
Jericho: Yes, we. No matter what he's been through, or what he may have done, Sephiroth is still my friend. I owe him one.
((The fans cheer Jericho loudly. Trent looks at him with impassive eyes as Chloe and Brimstone come down behind him, Chloe with her hands clasped to her chest.))
Jericho: You'd better go with him, Chloe... He's going to need your support. Whether you fully believe in him or not is immaterial. He needs to see a face he knows.
((Chloe opens her mouth to protest, then realizes he's right. With a small shake of her head, she follows the paramedics to the ambulance, holding Seph's hand. Jericho turns to face Trent and Brimstone with a sigh.))
Trent: The obvious place to start would be...
Jericho: To see if anyone saw anything. If we can find a witness or two, all the better. They may be able to describe who did it.
Trent: Spoken like a true detective. Let's go.
((Trent doesn't see the grimace that contorts Jericho's face as they head up the stairs, but Brimstone does. A quizzical look is responded to with a shake of Jericho's head. They get to Seph's open locker room and Jericho sees a note tacked to the door with a knife.))
Jericho: "Get out or the next time I'll break your neck, you freak."
Brimstone: That doesn't make sense!
Trent: Au contraire, Brimstone... It makes perfect sense. Whoever attacked him pinned that to his door beforehand. The attack came as Seph was trying to puzzle out who could have put it there.
Jericho: Or maybe it was put there afterward, to make us think it was there before.
((His words make more sense than they'd like... So the three of them begin questioning the stagehands, looking for information. The camera cuts back to ringside where Eddie and Travis are sitting.))
Eddie: This has been a strange night to say the least, Travis...
Travis: You said it. I don't know what to say.
Eddie: I don't either. Well, fans, for Travis Best, I'm Eddie Daniels. We'll see you next week.
((The scene dies as the transmission fades. Copyright Hardcore Wrestling Corporation, 2004.))