((The screen engulfs in fire burning quickly and leaving behind the burn remains of the blue HWC logo followed by the word "Brutality being spray painted over it. The image fades as the voice of Fred Drust is head saying, "If only we could fly!" Shots of Panthro, and Jericho, and Kidd are seen as My Generation starts to play followed by a shot of BloodLust Slayerz delivering the Slayerz Spear to Ace. As the song gets hard so does the images, such as The Tiger nailing Autumn, Panthro, Sarafan, and Jarred with a chair follwing by the beat down of The Tiger at the hand of Bad News. The song slows showing The Creeper and Blood Dragon staring each other down just before they go blow to blow with the song speeding up again. The shot changes to that of Celtic standing in the ring with his fist raised and another of him delivering a big boot to Vivian. Before the song ends shots of Jericho getting brutal with a cane, and B.D. beating away on Lucien are seen. As the song fades the images fade to black as a small spot light pans over a tattered broken blood covered belt, the back to black.))

(("King Nothing" plays, as Austin Pierremont walks to the ring, mic in hand, to a surprising number of cheers. Once inside the ring, Austin smiles.))

Austin: Hello, New Orleans. I bet the entire lot of you is happy that you have the HWC here in living color. (The crowd cheers.) Of course you are. It means that you get to put the Louisiana pasttime aside to watch wrestling. Hey, look at that. A fly. Let's kill it and cook it. I know how big you Louisiana rednecks are on roadkill. It's gotta suck that the best things to come out of Louisiana have been the Dylans, and they charged us extra to come back to this shithole. And who can blame them?! This place smells awful, like you killed a man who thought skunks were delicacies. (The crowd boos.) Hey, I didn't say you people could talk! Shut up! I'll start throwing people out of here! (A chant of "WE WANT JERICHO" begins in the crowd.) You can call him all you want. He's not coming out here. He's too smart for that. Now-

(("Never Gonna Stop" plays as Jericho steps onto the stage. Jericho isn't on the stage for long, before he begins to bolt to the ring. From the crowd behind him, Jarred appears. Soon enough, Austin is sandwiched between Jarred and Jericho, to the loud cheers of the crowd. As soon as both men are in the ring, Austin slides under the nearest ropes, bolting up the rampway, both Dylans a step behind him.))

Eddie: I guess the Dylans took offense to Austin's comments.

Travis: Maybe now, he'll get some taste in women.

Eddie: Well..... Welcome, everyone, to HWC Slaughter on its new night! We are LIVE in NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA! I'm Eddie Daniels, and with me, as always, is...

Travis: Travis Best. We are sold out here tonight! And even though it's a Tuesday, this is still Saturday Slaughter!

Eddie: It sure is, Travis! And let me tell you, we've got a ton of action set to explode tonight! We have a Kendo Stick match between Sephiroth and Blood Dragon...

Travis: A Table Match between The Creeper and Lucien Merriuci...

Eddie: A match signed after Riot between The Tiger and Ravin Masters...

Travis: And the main event tonight is a Sarcophagus Match between the Queen of the Nile and the Jersey Devil Diva! What a night!

Eddie: You said it, Travis! But starting off the action tonight is a match between the leader of the striking jobbers and our own Assistant Commissioner. This match came about after Air Raid led the striking men in an assault on two women who later turned out to be Peter Blankenship's wife and daughter. When he found out, Peter was literally in a daze. But can you really blame him, Travis?

Travis: No, Eddie, I can't. And if I were in his position, I'd react the same way. You don't lay hands on another man's family. It just isn't right!

Eddie: Amen, Travis. And I... Hold on a second. I'm being informed that Commissioner Novak has changed this match from a standard match to No Holds Barred. This comes in wake of comments Air Raid was overheard making to The Lurker shortly before coming into the arena... Apparently Air Raid could care less about what he did to Jessie and Nancy.

Travis: I hope the Assistant Commissioner puts Air Raid in the hospital. It's only fair!

Eddie: Amen, Travis. A-freaking-men! And now, without further ado, we go to Jean Fortello at ringside to announce the start of the show.

Standard Match
Air Raid vs Peter Blankenship

Jean Fortello: The following contest is a NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown... Representing the HWC Jobbers... AIR RAID!

((An air raid siren goes off followed by the start of Awake. Air Raid walks out onto the stage standing ready as the song slows. Then a large blast of pyro goes off behind him as he jumps up throwing his fists in the air. He then runs to the ring. The crowd boos him fervently, not liking what he did to those helpless women. He looks around and shrugs, not really giving a damn about what the fans think.))

Jean Fortello: And his opponent... From Buffalo, New York... Weighing in at 245 pounds... He is the Assistant Commissioner of the HWC... PETER BLANKENSHIP!

((Queensryche's "No Sanctuary" plays quietly at first, then gets louder until it settles in at almost deafening. The point it gets loudest is when the vocalist says "Oh, no sanctuary". Thick fog rolls in, obscuring the ramp from all eyes. Through the haze, a figure emerges. It's a very tall man with long raven black hair and electric green eyes. He's clad in a pair of wrestling tights, colored black and shot through with gold threads. He stops just outside the ring and ties his hair back, then grabs the bottom rope and uses it to catapult himself over the top rope. The fans scream and applaud, showing their support. He asks Jean for the microphone, then helps her out of the ring.))

Eddie: Looks like he's got something on his mind.

Travis: Wonder what it is?

Peter: Now, normally I'd have brought my daughter Jessie and my best friend Jericho with me to the ring...

((He stops as the crowd's screaming gets absolutely deafening. They know that name! He waits until they quiet down before continuing.))

Peter: But Jericho's not here, and Jessie's in the hospital... Thanks to that man over there! Air Raid, you and your gang of hoodlums went too far at Riot in Baton Rouge when you attacked two helpless women who weren't even employed by the HWC. They were coming in the back door so they could find me without being mobbed by fans and stopped by Security. How dare you? How the FUCK do you sleep at night, knowing you put them in the hospital?!? Guess what, Air Raid? I got two words for you... YOU'RE NEXT!

((He throws the mic out of the ring and the bell sounds. Air Raid stares at his opponent, then shrugs and turns to leave the ring. But he's stopped by a thunderous boot to his chin. He falls to the mat with an audible thud and the fans erupt. He smiles, then waits for Air Raid to get up.))

Eddie: Did you see that?

Travis: More like did we HEAR that? That was quite an impact!

Eddie: That was the best superkick I've ever seen anyone do in my time here at the HWC.

Travis: No kidding!

((Air Raid slowly gets to his feet, Peter watching him like a hawk. When he gets to the right spot, Peter grabs him and executes a flawless belly-to-belly suplex that sends Air Raid out of the ring and crashing into the ring barrier. Peter follows him out of the ring and throws him back in. Air Raid is quick to put the boots to Peter as he gets back in the ring, buying himself a few seconds. Peter gets up with a look of absolute menace in his eyes, hands clenching and unclenching. There are a few indy fans in the crowd tonight... They remember seeing him on the indy circuit about fifteen years ago. They know that gesture... Their screams bring Peter's head up to scan the crowd. There, smack in the middle of the front row, is a sign he hasn't seen in a long time: "Go get em, Mauler!" The fans around those few start to stomp their feet and cheer. The majority of them haven't seen him in action before... This is the perfect time to show them what he's made of! Air Raid tries a clothesline and only shoves Peter back a few feet. He puts his hands on his hips and laughs. Then he responds with a clothesline of his own, nearly taking Air Raid's head off. Air Raid goes down hard, groaning at the impact. Peter lifts him up again and pretends he actually cares about the guy. Air Raid hits him with a dropkick, sending him against the ropes. Peter uses the ropes to execute a flawless cross body, knocking Air Raid to the mat. He goes for the cover, on an instinctual level. 1... 2... Air Raid kicks out and shoves Peter a good five feet away. Peter rests on his knees for a moment, watching what Air Raid's going to do next. Air Raid hits a standing dropkick, his boots hitting Peter right in the face. Peter's knocked back against the ropes, one hand going up to his face. When his fingers come away with blood on them, he loses it. A red haze drops over his eyes and he gets to his feet. When he's re-established his vertical base, he lets out a roar that makes the ropes shake. The fans who remember him from his days on the indy circuit cheer loudly, chanting for the Mauler. Pretty soon, the entire crowd is chanting "Mauler". But Peter doesn't hear them... He charges Air Raid and hits him with a thunderous clothesline that flips him around before he hits the mat. Air Raid gets to his feet, shakily, then goes for a clothesline of his own. No effect. Peter pie-faces him to the mat, the crowd laughing.))

Eddie: This is absolutely amazing! I never thought I'd enjoy watching a man get beaten up, but in this case, I'm going to make an exception. A very BIG exception!

Travis: No kidding! I've got a report here that says Peter was a giant on the indy circuit! He held titles in every indy fed he was in, but somehow those feds never awarded him the big prize.

Eddie: What are you saying, Travis?

Travis: I'm saying, Eddie, that in his entire career as a wrestler, Peter Blankenship never held a Heavyweight Championship.

Eddie: So he's bound to take out almost fifteen years of frustration on Air Raid.

Travis: More like twenty years, Eddie. He started when he was Jessie's age.

Eddie: (whistling in an impressed manner) Wow.

Travis: Yup.

((Back in the ring, Air Raid's gotten back to his feet and charges Peter, hitting him with a spear that bends the older man in half. Peter lies on the mat, gasping and trying to regain his vertical base. Air Raid stands over him, mocking and sneering. A boot to the face, then he goes for an ankle lock. But Peter's still too fresh... He brings his other foot up and clocks Air Raid solidly in the side of the head. Air Raid lets go and staggers backward. Peter tests the ankle caught in the ankle lock, then nods and looks to see where Air Raid is. His eyes light up when he sees the youngster in the middle of the ring... He drops into a crouch, one hand resting lightly on the mat. The indy vets whistle piercingly and wave their arms. When Air Raid turns around, he's met by Peter charging into him with a brutal Gore that folds him in half like an accordion. The crowd gasps in shock.))

Eddie: What the hell was that?!?

Travis: (consulting his report) A Gore from a three-point stance... He calls that The Lockdown. That's usually the setup for his finisher, the... (gulping) The F5.

Eddie: What does he call that?

Travis: He calls it the "Swan Song". Kinda fitting, don't you think?

Eddie: Very fitting.

((Peter looks down at Air Raid, then puts one hand in a position the fans have seen before... Bent at the wrist with his fingers curled into an "F"... He lifts Air Raid to his feet and catches a glimpse of the turnbuckle. A grin that can only be called twisted and sadistic crosses his face and he carts the hapless youth over to the ropes. With a boost, he sets Air Raid up on the top rope. He scales the turnbuckles and hauls Air Raid up farther.))

Eddie: What's he doing?

Travis: He called for the F5... You don't think he'll do it from THERE, do you?

Eddie: I sure as hell hope not!

Travis: Oh, no...

((Oh, yes. Peter swings Air Raid over his shoulders and hits the F5 FROM THE TOP ROPE! The crowd stares, then starts chanting, "Ho-ly shit! Ho-ly shit! Ho-ly shit!". Peter flips his hair out of his eyes, then goes for the cover. 1... 2... 3! The bell rings, signalling the end of the match. The referee lifts Peter's hand in victory, then rolls out of the ring. Peter doesn't. He stands there looking down at the motionless Air Raid. The pin was academic. What he wanted was revenge. He got it. He turns to leave the ring and stops at the bottom of the ramp. He looks at the kid again, then shakes his head and waves for the EMT's. He watches them take Air Raid away, strapped to a backboard and wearing a neck brace, then he starts a walk that's never seemed longer than it does right at that moment. He gets backstage without incident, going right to his office to change. The door slams shut, reverberating slightly from the impact.))

Eddie: It looks like he's upset about something.

Travis: Maybe... Just maybe he's regretting that F5 from the top?

Eddie: Could be, Travis... We may never know. But what we do know is that later on tonight, Jericho Dylan is going to be here to present Ryan Mavrick with his HWC contract!

Travis: Um, Eddie, I just remembered something Peter said before the bell rang... He said Jericho wasn't here.

Eddie: You're right, Travis... He did say that! But if Jericho isn't here, who's going to give Ryan his contract?

Travis: Your guess is as good as mine, Eddie.

((All of a sudden the whole arena goes black, which is nothing new here. The HWC-Tron comes to life showing what looks like The Tiger's barely lit and surrounded by shadows. The crowd erupts into boos, it from where ever Tiger is it isn't even to stop her from speaking. Anger and haterid can be clearly been seen on her face, her tone harsh.))

The Tiger: The time has come for me, I know my words reach no ones ears. So my warning goes unheard, so be it ya can't ingore the hell I will bring down. I have been treated as a joke for to long. Ya want the old Tiger, the bad ass ya all love, the kinda person that take no shit and leaves an impact where ever she goes. Will yar prayers have been answer, but not the way you would like. I have long stop carring for the world around me, in doing so has removed a weight from me. In turn I answer back with Damage Inc. Devistation and Destruction! I have gone back to where it all started, I have turned a blind eye to them. Now they will be the first to fall. Ravin is the first and one by one I will go threw the members of Bad News. No one will be able to stop me, I will destory everything in my path. If ya don't believe me, step up and take the challenge. But heed my words, no love or mercy lives in me. 16 chair shots and counting!

((With those last words Tiger steps back from where she is at and fades from view. The lights come back on as the HWC-Tron shuts off.))

Travis: Um .....okay....

Eddie: Folks, we'll be back right after this with the Kendo Stick match between Sephiroth and Blood Dragon.

Announcer: Now available from HWC home video...(scenes of various matches and backstage events from HWC shows flash by while announcer speaks)..."The Best of the HWC Volume 3"! This two hour DVD contains the best moments from HWC Saturday Slaughter both in and out of the ring! Also included are candid interviews with the HWC superstars who lived through them, including the Tiger, Jericho Dylan, Bad News, Harley Quinn, Kidd Rock, The Creeper, Autumn Lewis, Martin Smalls and more! Also available on DVD "Blood and Steel". This two disc set contains four hours of some of the bloodiest and most brutal matches ever concived, including the first ever triple threat triple cage match between Sephiroth du Lac, The Enforcer and Bulldozer for the HWC Heavyweight title. Hosted by HWC announcers Eddie Daniels and Travis Best. And "HWC Road To The Gold". Follow the histories of every single HWC title, from the first title holder to the most recent. Also includes the title history of the now defunct HWC TV title. All three videos are available from the HWC HardWear shop, call 1-800-Hard-Wear, or go on line at hwcwrestling.com. Also available at Best Buy, Target, Fye and wherever videos and DVD's are sold! Get your copy now!

Kendo Stick Match
Sephiroth du Lac vs Blood Dragon

Eddie: Well, now we have what is, feasibly, a chance for revenge for Sephiroth.

Travis: Yeah, but he’s got kids, now. Seph’s gonna be soft.

Eddie: I don’t know about that, Travis. He is Sephiroth.

Jean Fortello: The following match is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Du Lac Manor, in New York, weighing in at 246 lbs, being accompanied to the ring by the Sabbat Pack, representing the Old Darkside. . . SEPHIROTH DU LAC!!!

((The lights go out as a beautiful choir sings in Latin. The screen shows Seph's Symbol (A cross inside an eternal Pentagram) as the voices begin to fade. Finally Lightning effects strike the stage area and blue pyro flames shoot up and the lights flicker on. "Whisper" by Evanescence begins to play as Seph and the Sabbat Pack walk to the ring, Seph carrying a kendo stick, one in each of the Sabbat Pack’s hands as well.))

Eddie: You have to figure that Sephiroth would have the advantage here, just by virtue of the numbers game.

Travis: Sephiroth does have the numbers, but does he have the focus?

Eddie: Good question.

Travis: What can I say? I’m in a good mood. That VP’s about to get his ass beat by the Dylans. That’s good TV, in my mind.

Jean Fortello: And his opponent, from Melbourne, Florida, weighing in at 245 lbs, representing Bad News. . . BLOOD DRAGON!!!

((As Downfall comes over the speakers, the arena pitches into darkness. Two or three blood red spotlights start searching through the crowd bathing all the fans in the deep red light. When they finally come together it is in the center of the ring, where Blood is standing with his arms raised, kendo stick in one hand, and his head lowered as if in prayer. Suddenly red pyro shoots off from the four ringposts to meet above Blood's, now raised, head in the shape of a red Dragon. Blood turns, only to get caught with a kendo stick to the throat, dropping him to the mat. Seph pulls Blood to a seated position, and wraps the kendo stick around Blood’s throat, picking him up, and visibly attempting to choke him out. Blood responds by snapping the kendo stick up, cracking Seph in the head twice, before Seph drops Blood. Seph steps back, Blood getting to his feet quickly, catching Seph with a kendo stick to either kidney, a shot to the stomach, and then stepping back, and, as Seph’s head comes up, cracking Seph in the face with the kendo stick hard enough to splinter the kendo stick itself, flooring Seph.))

Eddie: Blood Dragon appearing all too focused, here.

Travis: Well, he’d have to be. No matter what’s happened to Seph, he still is Sephiroth.

Eddie: Good point.

((Blood goes for the pin. 1. . . 2. . . kickout. Seph rolls to the side, grabbing the kendo stick, and catching Blood with a sharp kendo stick shot to the side of the head, causing Blood to flip in midair. Seph gets to his feet, waiting for Blood to stand. As Blood begins to stand, Seph falls into the ropes, coming back, catching Blood with a kick to the midsection, then moving to Blood’s side, bringing the kendo stick down, across the small of Blood’s back. Blood straightens, his back arched, in an attempt to ‘walk it off’. Seph doesn’t allow it, cracking Blood, again, with the kendo stick to the small of the back. Blood drops to a knee, and Seph rears back, cracking Blood in the back of the head with the kendo stick, dropping him facefirst to the ground. Seph grabs Blood, draping Blood throat first on the middle rope, draping Blood’s arms over the same rope, putting his left foot on the back of Blood’s head, cracking him repeatedly in the small of the back, his foot preventing Blood from moving away from the ropes.))

Eddie: Sephiroth is on a rampage, here.

Travis: He’s just peeved that he got beat by Blood earlier.

Eddie: No longer afraid of Sephiroth, are you?

Travis: Hell no. He’s going after the New Darkside. I still think that he’s just pissed because the Darkside fell into dominance after he went away, under The Creeper’s rule.

Eddie: You may be right, Travis.

((The referee finally manages to get Sephiroth away, only to have Brimstone slide into the ring, pick Blood up, and set him up for the Shadowsphere.))

Eddie: Oh, come on! Like Sephiroth needs any help!

Travis: No, but Blood does.

Eddie: What the-?

((From the backstage area, an all-too-familiar figure appears, a distinctive blood-stained chair in hand.))

Eddie: B.D.’s out here?! But. . . why? It’s no secret that B.D. had problems with Blood Dragon, as well as the fact that B.D. was Blood’s last opponent before he was nearly killed, but he’s also got problems with Sephiroth.

Travis: Face it. B.D.’s just got problems.

Eddie: Point taken.

((B.D. charges to the ring, swinging the chair at Blood, only to crack Brimstone in the head. Brimstone releases the hold, and B.D. follows Brimstone, setting Brimstone’s face on the bloody side of the chair, then resting his head on the other side, hitting the jawbreaker into the chair he refers to as the Chair Drive. Brimstone recoils, blood spewing from his mouth, a good portion of said blood landing on the chair. B.D. stands up, looking around wide-eyed, then sliding out of the ring, jabbing Trent in the stomach with the chair, Chair Driving him as well, then moving toward Chloe, his maniacal laughter audible even at this distance. Sephiroth moves to the apron, shouting at B.D. B.D. turns around, looking at Sephiroth, smiling, then turning to further pursue Chloe. Behind Sephiroth, Blood gets to his feet, rolling Sephiroth up. Sephiroth rolls through, hauling Blood to his feet, hitting Blood with the Shadowsphere, and hooking the leg. 1. . . 2. . . 3!!!))

Eddie: Sephiroth has just won!

Travis: Yeah, but B.D.’s chasing Chloe.

((Seph gets to his feet, bolting out of the ring, and running up the ramp. A loud shriek stops Seph dead in his tracks, a light moving up to the top of the HWC-tron, where B.D. is dangling Chloe by her throat. Seph’s eyes remain fixed on B.D., who makes it a point to toy with Seph, acting like he’s going to drop Chloe, each feint eliciting a loud scream.))

Creeper: Sephiroth. You asked for this. You turned on someone you shouldn’t have.

((Sephiroth growls, moving toward a ladder leading to the top of the screen.))

Creeper: I wouldn’t suggest you do that, Sephiroth. Why, you climbing the ladder might spook B.D., and then he’d lose his grip. Although it would be interesting to see if Chloe could survive a fall from that height, through the stage.

((Sephiroth freezes, motioning for B.D. to put her down softly.))

Creeper: Several weeks ago, Sephiroth, you made your choice. You stabbed me in the back. You declared war. It just so happens that, in war, there are always prisoners of war. Consider this, Sephiroth, our first prisoner of war.

((The Creeper’s voice descends into callous, evil laughter, as B.D. and Chloe both disappear in a cloud of acrid black smoke.))

Eddie: What an action-packed night we've had so far and...

Travis: What is it?

Eddie: I'm being told that something's going on in the back. Do we have a camera back there?

((The camera from backstage whirs around, then settles on a closed door. There's a name plate on the door... It reads, "Peter Blankenship". The door is rattling, as though something is being thrown against it.))

Eddie: My God... That's Peter's office! What's going on?!?

Travis: You got me, Eddie! Wait, the door's finally stopped rattling!

((Sure enough, it has stopped rattling... The knob twists, then the door opens. From inside, the rest of Air Raid's fellow jobbers emerge, laughing and shaking hands. The camera zooms past them to a horrific scene. Inside the office, lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, is the Assistant Commissioner. The crowd can be heard screaming in shock and horror. EMT's come racing in much as they did when Peter called them to the ring. The stretcher is wheeled out with Peter completely motionless. It passes a man wearing an amber cloak held at his throat with a flawless ruby inlaid in white gold. The man stares after it until it's out of sight, then reaches up and flips back the hood. It's Jericho Dylan! His face is a study in fury, eyes clouded and unseeing. Chris Murphy sees him and hesitantly touches his shoulder.))

Chris: Jericho?

Jericho: Yes?

Chris: What are you going to do about that horrendous attack?

Jericho: What Peter did against Air Raid... I'm going to get revenge.

Chris: Are you going to tell me how?

Jericho: No... I'm going to show the world how I get my revenge.

((With that, he turns and walks away, the cloak flapping in a non-existent breeze. Chris watches him go, then turns back to the camera.))

Chris: Frightening words from the World Champion... I have to feel something for the jobbers... Disgust. They deserve whatever Jericho does to them... Just like Air Raid deserved what Peter did to him earlier.

Eddie: Thank you, Chris.

Chris: You're welcome, Eddie.

Eddie: Chris said it best, Travis... Those were frightening words from one Jericho Dylan.

Travis: Things can't possibly get any worse than they are right now.

Eddie: They probably will, Travis... Folks, we'll update you on Peter's condition as soon as we find out ourselves.

((The camera flips backstage, to show Austin still running, the camera panning back slightly, showing the Dylans pursuing him still. As the Dylans appear to be cornering Austin, he climbs up a fenced wall, getting to the top, running across it, and then dropping down, behind the Dylans, taking off running again.))

Eddie: Looks like the Dylans are still trying to get their hands on Austin.

Travis: Oh, come on! He can't run that fast!

(The Tiger is standing in front of a computer. She's typing away and then clicks on the mouse.)

Computer: AOL installation complete. Please press any key to continue.

(The Tiger hits a key.)

Computer: That's not the any key, try again stupid human.

Tiger: Stupid piece of shite! Screw you.

Computer: Up yours fleshy!

(She storms off. Jericho Dylan walks up.)

Jericho: Hmmm.

(He hits a key.)

Computer: Invalid input you moron. Try again.

(He hits another key.)

Computer: Nice try dunce. You suck.

Jericho: So do you.

(He walks off. Jeff Wylde comes by. He looks at the screen and hits a key.)

Computer: You're so stupid! That won't work.

Jeff: Blow me.

(He walks off. Kidd Rock, Beowulf, Harley Quinn and the Creeper all come by and the computer insults each of them in turn. Finally Autumn Lewis walks by.)

Autumn: What the...?

(She starts typing and clicks the mouse.)

Computer: Uninstalling AOL....*beep* Uninstall incomplete. Sorry sister, you're stuck with me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Autumn (walking off): Alright! As soon as I find out who installed AOL on the company computer is fired!

Announcer: AOL, so difficult to use, no wonder everyone hates it. Please don't use AOL. Ever. Please. If you value your computer you'll avoid it like the plauge. AOL sucks.

(The AOL symbol comes up in a circle with a slash through it.)

Announcer: To hell with AOL!

Table Match
The Creeper vs Lucien Merriuci

Eddie: This match could be considered the epitome of Good versus Evil. Lucien Merriuci seems to think The Creeper is the source of all the world's ills.

Travis: He may be right... Then again, he may be wrong. One man can't be held responsible for the things the world does as a whole. Even if he is deranged or homicidal.

Eddie: And B.D. is both. But we don't know about The Creeper... For all we know, he could be a psychopath under all the layers of intrigue and Darkness.

Travis: There is no such thing as the Darkness! How many times do I have to tell you that?

Eddie: You can say it all you want, but it's the truth. How do you explain Jericho walking around as though nothing ever happened?

Travis: Advances in medical science.

Eddie: You're hopeless.

Travis: Am not! I can do stuff for myself!

Eddie: Travis, I said you were hopeless, not helpless. Idiot.

Travis: Hey! I resemble, er, resent that remark!

Jean Fortello: The following contest is a TABLE MATCH! Introducing first, from the Second Tier of Hell... THE CREEPER!

((The lights die, A loud, booming, demonic voice laughs throughout the building, then segueing into "Go 2 Sleep". Lightning strikes the turnbuckles, all four bursting into pillars of flame, then dying, The Creeper standing on one of the turnbuckles, arms folded over his chest.))

Jean Fortello: And his opponent... From Prague in the Czech Republic... LUCIEN MERRIUCI!

((The arena goes pitch black as "The Call of Ktulu" starts. Lucien slowly methodically walks to the ring as the lights come up to a dim. Lucien stands on the outside peircing a hole through his opponent with his eyes (metaphorically speaking of course). The lights return to normal as Lucien steps into the ring. The bell sounds and Jean exits the ring as fast as she can. Lucien and The Creeper circle each other warily, The Creeper lashing out at Lucien with his right hand. Lucien ducks and catches The Creeper with a foot to the stomach. The Creeper backs away, then smiles and nods to Lucien in a show of respect. Lucien returns the nod, then rushes forward. The Creeper ducks down, then catapults Lucien over the top rope. Lucien hits hard, landing on his back. The Creeper slides out of the ring, grabs Lucien by the hair and throws him back in the ring, following right after him. Lucien gets to his feet and hits a clothesline that knocks The Creeper back a few feet, but nothing else. The Creeper allows a smile to briefly cross his face, then hits a clothesline that knocks Lucien for a loop.))

Eddie: That seems to be a common move tonight, Travis...

Travis: You mean the Belfry Clothesline?

Eddie: The what?

Travis: The Belfry Clothesline. It shakes loose the bats in your belfry when you get hit with it.

Eddie: *laughing* That's actually a good one, Travis!

Travis: Thank you!

((The Creeper slides out of the ring and hunts down a table. The fans erupt when they see it. They want tables... And by God, they're going to get them! He sets the table up and waits for Lucien to get to his feet. Lucien crawls under the table and pops up behind The Creeper, hitting him with a standing dropkick from ON TOP OF THE TABLE! The Creeper gets knocked forward into the ropes and stumbles backward into a bulldog, also from on top of that table. Both men go down hard.))

Eddie: And just like that, Lucien Merriuci has turned things around!

Travis: What an innovative combo, Eddie... A dropkick then a bulldog from on top of the table!

Eddie: It certainly was! Lucien is the first man to knock The Creeper off his feet since he got here!

((Lucien gets to his hands and knees, then his feet. He grabs The Creeper and drags him over to the table, but can't get him up to slam him through it. So he improvises. He lays The Creeper across the table, then scales the ropes and perches on the top turnbuckle. He's so focused on keeping his balance he doesn't see The Creeper get pulled off the table by a small boy with white hair and blue eyes. The Creeper regains his senses at the sound of a voice urging him to get up. When he sees who it is, he does an incredulous double take.))

Creeper: Simon, what are you doing here?

Simon: I asked Jericho to bring me. I wanted to see what you do.

Creeper: You could have watched on one of the televisions.

Simon: No I couldn't have. B.D. broke them all.

Creeper: It isn't safe for you here. Go backstage. I can take it from here. Although... I do appreciate the rescue. Excuse me while I take care of this God loving moron.

Simon: Give him a taste of the Darkness... Make him repent his life.

Creeper: You know something, that's not such a bad idea. Now go. I'll see you in a little bit.

Simon: Yes, sir.

((Simon scurries backstage, laughing silently all the while. The Creeper laughs too, then gets back in the ring under the bottom rope. Lucien gets down off the turnbuckle, then charges The Creeper, connecting with a wicked spear. The Creeper goes down to one knee, then lifts his head to look Lucien in the eyes. The look in The Creeper's eyes makes Lucien pale and he backs away in an effort to escape. But it's all for naught. The Creeper's hand shoots out and he grabs Lucien by the throat. Lucien struggles and kicks, trying to loosen The Creeper's grip. No good. The Creeper drags him over to the table and makes a motion with his free hand, then lifts Lucien off the mat.))

Eddie: This is a new one from The Creeper, Travis... A chokeslam?

Travis: Better than that Death Rattle! At least a chokeslam is more acceptable!

Eddie: They're both legal moves, Travis.

((The Creeper holds Lucien there for an incredible length of time, then hurls him down through the table. The bell rings, signalling the end of the match.))

Jean Fortello: Here is your winner... THE CREEPER!

((The lights suddenly go out, throwing the arena into complete darkness. When the lights come back up, The Creeper is laid out in the center of the ring. Lucien is still lying in the middle of the wreckage, so it couldn't have been him. But who was it? A flash of fabric and their identity is revealed.))

Eddie: Who in all that's holy is that?

Travis: According to the file I have here, that's Cleo's husband and manager Maximus Octavius.

Eddie: Cleo is in the arena tonight... And she has a Sarcophagus Match later tonight. I wonder if this was payback for what happened at Riot.

Travis: It could very well be, Eddie.

((Maximus shouts something at The Creeper that sounds remarkably like, "PAYBACK'S A BITCH!". Then he takes something out of his jacket and holds it so the crowd can see it. It looks like a flask of alcohol. But the announcers catch a whiff of the contents of that flask...))

Eddie: Wait a minute! That's not alcohol! That's GASOLINE!

Travis: He isn't planning to set fire to The Creeper, is he?

Eddie: I think he is!

((The contents get poured on The Creeper's lifeless body, and a box of matches is removed. Maximus grins sadistically as he lights a match and drops it on the gasoline-soaked back of The Creeper. Flames rise up toward the roof of the arena, licking greedily at the fuel being provided. The crowd begins to scream in horror, or so Maximus thinks. They're screaming because, pelting down the ramp, is that same small boy from earlier, followed by the reigning World Champion, Jericho Dylan. Jericho whips off his cloak and Simon throws it over The Creeper's back to smother the flames. Jericho waits for Maximus to turn around and flattens him with a brutal spear. Maximus is laid out flat... Jericho grins wickedly and gives a shout, then nails a picture perfect Mardi Gras Kickoff. He stands up and the lights die out. When they come back up, Maximus is lying in the wreckage of a ruined table and Jericho, Simon and The Creeper are gone.))

Eddie: Thank God for Jericho Dylan! But who was that boy with him?

Travis: I don't know, but he and Jericho sure work well together!

Eddie: They sure do, Travis. But what's Maximus's reaction to what Jericho did going to be? And will Cleo be able to focus on her Sarcophagus Match against Harley?

Travis: I don't know, Eddie... I just don't know. But what I do know is, we'll be back after this with The Tiger facing Ravin Masters.

Eddie: This night can't get any weirder than it already has, Travis... It just can't.

Travis: As you always tell me... With Jericho Dylan around, you just never know.

Eddie: Touche.

(Scene opens on a pay phone. A man walks up and picks up the reciver and dials zero.)

Voice: What the hell do you think you're doing?

(The man turns to see Kidd Rock walk up to him.)

Man: Making a collect call.

Kidd: By dialing zero? What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you know about 1-800-COLLECT?

Man: 1-800-COLLECT?

Kidd: Yeah. The easy way to make collect calls. Plus you'll save the people you call a buck or two. Just put 1-800 in front of collect.

Man: That's so easy, why didn't I think of that?

Kidd: Well, you'll remember for next time right?

Man: Sure.

Kidd: Cause if you don't I'll send them to your house.

(Kidd points and the man sees the entire HWC roster looking at him with their arms crossed and a few tapping their feet or pounding their fists into their hands.)

Announcer: 1-800-COLLECT. Use it and save a buck or two.

Standard Match
The Tiger vs Ravin Masters

Eddie: Well, here we go. A person only slightly behind B.D. in terms of insanity, Tiger, going against the sister of the reigning DisasterPiece Champion, in Ravin Masters.

Travis: Two women in the ring, trying to beat each other stupid? What better match is there?

Jean Fortello: The following match is set for one fall. Introducing first, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 180 lbs. . . THE TIGER!!!

((King of My World plays followed by a explosions of fire like pyro around the stage. Smoke fills the stage from the fire and out from the smoke walks The Tiger. She broods as she walks slowly to the ring, climbing it she enters threw the middle rope. Tiger steps out into the middle of the ring and holds out her arms from her sides with her first clenched. She turns and looks to the stage before dropping her arms waiting for the match to start.))

Eddie: It’s rather surprising that Tiger is out here looking as oddly sane as ever.

Travis: Maybe she just got done disemboweling PitBull, and dancing on his entrails.

Eddie: That’s disgusting.

Travis: Well, it is close to Halloween, and most of the looneys and weirdos come out around Halloween.

Jean Fortello: And her opponent, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 140 lbs, being accompanied to the ring by the reigning HWC DisasterPiece champion, her brother Draven, representing Bad News. . . DRAVEN MASTERS!!!

(("Descending Angel" hits over the PA and just as the body of the song kicks in, the stage lights up with a huge blast of pyro. When it dies down Ravin is standing there headbanging to the beat with her massive brother, Draven Masters standing behind her. Ravin makes her way to the ring oblivious to the fans, lost in the music, as she headbangs and sings all the way to the ring. Once inside she gets some last minute advice from Draven and turns around only to catch a clothesline from Tiger, sending her into the turnbuckle. Tiger kicks Ravin in the midsection, then pulls her out of the turnbuckle, lifting her up, and going for a powerbomb, Ravin countering it into a hurracanrana, sending Tiger over the top rope.))

Eddie: Ravin appearing prepared for Tiger, here.

Travis: She’d have to be, otherwise Tiger would tear her apart.

Eddie: And Tiger is just that crazy, now.

((Ravin moves to the top rope, vaulting over, crashing into Tiger where she stands on the ground, then picking Tiger up, and driving her facefirst into the apron, before moving behind her and hitting a German suplex, sending the back of Tiger’s head into the rampway. Not letting Tiger regain her composure, Ravin moves to Tiger’s ankles, wrapping her arms around Tiger’s ankles, then falling backward, sending Tiger facefirst into the apron hard. Tiger recoils, turning around, Ravin up already, grabbing Tiger, and going for a DDT, only to have Tiger shove Ravin to the ground, and slide into the ring, hitting Draven with a baseball slide, before coming back, handspringing over the top rope, and dropping an elbow in the center of Ravin’s chest. Tiger gets up, sliding back into the ring, moving toward the other side, as Draven begins trying to get into the ring. Tiger slides out of the ring, grabbing a chair, running around the ring, and then cracking Ravin upside the head with the chair, before sliding the chair under the apron.))

Eddie: Tiger’s found a way to use Draven against Ravin.

Travis: This defies explanation! This many gorgeous women in one federation?!

Eddie: You’re in shock again, aren’t you?

Travis: Huh? (Sound of an impact) Sorry bout that. I forgot where I was.

Eddie: No problem. It’s surprisingly fun smacking you around.

((Tiger grabs Ravin, sliding her into the ring, then following, pinning Ravin, hooking the leg and everything. However, Draven, on the apron, sees this, and, as a result, doesn’t move from the apron, continuing to jaw with the referee. After a few moments, Tiger gets to her feet, shoving Draven off of the apron, then turning around, taking a rising uppercut from Ravin, sending Tiger staggering back a few feet. After that, Ravin floors Tiger with a spear, then straddles Tiger’s shoulders, and fires a number of right hands to Tiger’s face. Tiger reaches up, grabbing Ravin by her throat, and shoving Ravin off of her. Tiger gets to her feet, waiting. Ravin gets to her feet, only to get caught by a solid left from Tiger.))

Eddie: Tiger’s going to put this match away right here!

Travis: Looks like it.

((Tiger hits both of the first two shots, and then, as she goes for the third, Ravin ducks, and turns it into a crossface. Unfortunately, Tiger’s too close to the ropes, and makes the grab easy. The referee separates the two, Tiger getting to her feet, and, over the referee’s head, hitting Ravin with the Click Click Boom, dragging her away from the ropes, and hooking the leg. 1. . . 2. . . 3!!!))

Eddie: Tiger’s won this match, even with the odds stacked against her!

Travis: Damn. She is one tough broad. I think I said that before.

Eddie: Well, that was a great match between two of the female athletes in the HWC.

Travis: Yeah, that was a great match. But what's this?

((From the top of the ramp, Austin bolts from the curtain, sliding into the ring, and appearing to be begging off. Unbeknownst to Austin, as the Dylans appear at the top of the ramp, Daemon hurdles the guardrail behind him, grabbing a steel chair, and sliding into the ring behind Austin. As Jericho and Jarred move toward the ring, Daemon rears back, cracking Austin in the back of the head with the chair, dropping him facedown to the mat, before picking Austin up, and hitting him with an implant DDT into the chair, picking Austin up again, and tossing him to Jarred and Jericho, who respond by pulling Austin out of the ring, and dragging the unconscious VP up the ramp, to the cheers of the crowd. As all four men disappear backstage, the cameras go back to the announce position.))

Eddie: Well, it looks like Austin could run, but he couldn't run far enough.

Travis: Maybe he'll finally get some taste in women. Dirty freak.

Eddie: We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, with the main event, a matchup between Harley Quinn and Cleo.

(A man is walking down the street and he sees a massage parlor. He rubs his sore back and walks inside.)

Woman: Can I help you?

Man: My back is killing me!

Woman: Right this way.

(We cut to the man laying on a massage table facedown with a towel covering him from the waist down. A masseuse walks in showing a generous amount of clevage.)

Massesuse: Just relax, sir.

(The man sees her and smiles laying his head down. The man suddenly opens his eyes and groans as his back cracks. We see Draven Masters working over the man's back with pounding blows while the masseuse massages his shoulders. The camera gets a closeup of Draven grinning as he continues to work over the man's back, as we hear the man grunting and groaning and the sound of his back cracking. Finally we see Draven walk away and pull a Snicker's Cruncher bar out of his pocket. He takes a bite and grins.)

Announcer: There's no crunch more satisfying than that of a Snicker's Cruncher.

(Behind Draven the man comes walking out bent over and groaning in pain. The masseuse comes up and gives him a Snicker's Cruncher too. He takes a bite and grins as he walks off.)

Announcer: Snicker's Cruncher. A satisfying crunch.

Sarcophagus Match
Cleo vs Harley Quinn

Eddie: Well, on a night where we’ve seen a match between Ravin and Tiger, as well as a match between Peter Blankenship and Air Raid, we now have a match between The Creeper’s ex-flame, Cleo, and Harley Quinn. Now-

((Before Eddie can finish his sentence, the arena falls dark, and a voice echoes out into the emptiness, the HWC-tron showing a graveyard, in the corner is a timer, counting down from 5 minutes. As the camera moves through the graveyard at an incredible speed, appearing flying, the voice speaks calmly, easily identified.))

Creeper: Cleo, how does it feel to know that you had a choice, and you chose wrongly? How does it feel to know that what pain your husband suffered was your own doing? How does it feel to know that your husband’s life is mine to end? How does it feel to know that you had a choice even after marrying the moron, and you chose again, once more incorrectly? I’ll tell you how it feels.

((The camera focuses on a tombstone, zooming in on the name, reading simply “Cleo”))

Creeper: It feels like your world, and your life, is ending, a feeling that, now, bereft of any desire to see you anything but destroyed for what you did, I will be more than happy to see come true. Cleo, your life is over. And, as your soul leaves your body, you will find yourself never again reincarnated, simply caught within a prison, one that I will keep, myself, and you will never again see the light of day.

Eddie: That was, pardon the statement, creepy.

Travis: That’s one of those things that The Creeper does best.

((The camera shows the sarcophagus at ringside, before panning back, to show the entranceway.))

Jean Fortello: The following match is a Sarcophagus match. Introducing first, from New York, weighing in at 150 lbs, being accompanied to the ring by Max, representing the Old Darkside. . . CLEOPATRA!

((The arena goes dark as the words “ Forever” are whispered across the speakers. Gold lights line the entrance ramp as four guys wearing the head of Anubis, Ma’at, Set and Osiris carrying a golden royal barge from Ancient Egypt. The figure laying in the middle of the barge is wearing a golden death mask with the golden flail in the right hand, and the scepter in the left. Max, dressed in a Roman Legionnaire outfit follows behind, as the barge makes it way to the ring. When they reach the ring he removes the large golden death mask revealing Cleo underneath. She opens her eyes, as the “Gods” bow to her, and Max helps her out of the barge, and to the ring. She hands the scepter and flail to Max and awaits her opponents.))

Eddie: This is going to be interesting.

Travis: Wow. She looks like a million bucks!

Eddie: Yeah, you’re really easy to get a good review from.

Travis: Only from the good looking women.

Eddie: Which is everyone, to you.

Jean Fortello: And her opponent, from the Black Light Section of the Jersey Shore, weighing in at 165 lbs, being accompanied to the ring by the Mafiaso. . . HARLEY QUINN!!!

((The lights go down as a single spotlight goes over the crowd and then rests at the back of the stage, as "Took It Like A Woman" begins to play. The HWC-Tron comes to life with scenes from Harley's matches, with the Mafiaso, gaining the World Title, and sitting by herself in her office looking out the window over the water. Harley, and Johnny, Reno, and Rude walk out, and make their way down to the ring. Harley's face is stern, as are the guys as they make their way to the ring. Once they reach the ring, Johnny helps her in, and helps her out of her suit jacket and kisses her before hopping out. Harley stands in the middle of the ring, then moving over, locking up with Cleo. Harley sends Cleo off the ropes, nearest her corner, Rude reaching in and grabbing Cleo’s ankle. Cleo turns to shout at Rude, getting German suplexed by Harley for her trouble.))

Eddie: These two women are fighting like-

Travis: CATFIGHT!

Eddie: You love doing that, don’t you, Travis?

Travis: Hey, it fits.

((As Cleo moves toward Harley again, Max advances toward the Mafiaso, catching Reno with a boot to the face, then driving Rude headfirst into the steel steps, before picking him up, for a falling powerslam, it appears, running Rude into the ringpost back-first. Max walks off as the referee admonishes him, but, as soon as the referee’s back is turned, Max grabs a chair, walking back over, and cracking Reno, Rude, and then, finally, Johnny, in the head with the chair, before retreating to his area.))

Eddie: Max has just made it all too clear how far he’ll go to make sure that Cleo wins a match.

Travis: She didn’t need his help.

((In the ring, Harley has gotten to her feet, and caught Cleo with a hard clothesline, using that to buy her some time. Cleo and Harley, now, were both standing, Harley going for a suplex, which is countered to a Northern Lights suplex, sending Harley nearly sliding out of the ring. Cleo gets to her feet, moving toward Harley, hauling her to her feet, and then motioning to Max. Max walks around the ring, opening the sarcophagus, the camera showing the empty inside of the sarcophagus. Cleo moves to the ropes, then putting Harley on the top turnbuckle, following her up, attempting to superplex Harley into the sarcophagus. Harley catches Cleo with a number of right hands, then shoves Cleo backward, sending her spilling into the open sarcophagus. As soon as Cleo lands, Max begins pulling her out, Harley making it to the top rope. As Max gets Cleo out of the sarcophagus, Harley catches both of them with a missile dropkick. Max gets to his feet quickly, grabbing Harley, and hitting a huge chokeslam to her, before sending Harley into the ring again.))

Eddie: Max has already laid out every single one of Harley’s crew, and now, he’s just dropped Harley.

Travis: Cleo’s gonna win!

Eddie: Looks that way. Wait. Who-?

((From the backstage area, The Creeper appears, identifiable from the Hardcore title over his shoulder, wearing a large cloak, his face obscured. The Creeper walks to the ring, turning Max around, and clocking him with the title, before walking back up the ramp. At the top of the ramp, The Creeper stops, looking at the carnage. Max gets to his feet, charging up the ramp, after The Creeper, who doesn’t move. In the ring, Cleo is rolling Harley toward the sarcophagus again, Harley entirely unconscious. Max gets to the top of the ramp, grabbing the cloak, and pulling, revealing. . . ))

Eddie: What the hell?! That’s not The Creeper! That’s B.D.! And he’s got the chair again!

Travis: Someone have him committed!

((B.D. quickly hits Max with a “Chair Drive”, leaving the bloodied greek on the top of the stage. Cleo signals to the referee outside the ring, who opens the sarcophagus again. That done, the clock returns, counting down from 10 seconds, now. The crowd counts with the clock, apparently confused as to it’s meaning. Halfway outside the ring, pushing Harley, Cleo pauses, looking at the clock herself. At 0, a voice cuts out over the airwaves.))

Creeper: Time’s up, Cleo.

((Cleo blinks in confusion, up until The Creeper appears from the empty sarcophagus, grabbing Cleo by the throat, and pulling her fully through the ropes, and into the sarcophagus. The referee closes and locks the sarcophagus, the bell ringing.))

Jean Fortello: And here is your winner, HARLEY QUINN!

((From backstage, Seph comes charging through the curtain, after B.D., who still stands near the ring, just barely on the ramp. Before Seph could get his hands on B.D., however, B.D. disappears, his maniacal giggle echoing into the arena.))

Eddie: I think this war between the two Darksides has just gotten about eight levels worse. And you have to wonder who will win.

Travis: Forget winning. This is about surviving. After what The Creeper did earlier, I think Seph won’t stop until he and his group are the only ones left alive.

Eddie: Well, like The Creeper or not, he has done things with the Darkside that even Seph himself wasn’t able to do. And he did it all while operating under his own agenda. Well, fans, that’s all for this week’s Slaughter. See you next week!

((The transmission dies and as the scene fades.Copyright 2003, Hardcore Wrestling Corp.))